Thus Far- Streams in the Desert December 31

December 31

Thus Far

"Thus far has the Lord helped us" (I Sam. 7:12).

The words "thus far" seems like a hand pointing in the direction of the past. Twenty years or seventy, and yet "thus far the Lord helped us!" Through poverty, through wealth, through sickness, through health; at home, abroad, on the land, on the sea; in honor, in dishonor, in perplexity, in joy, in trial, in triumph, in prayer, in temptation--"thus far the Lord helped!"

We delight to look down a long road of trees. It is delightful to gaze from one end of the long vista, a sort of verdant temple, with its branching pillars and its arches of leaves. Even so look down the long aisles of your years, at the green boughs of mercy overhead, and the strong pillars of lovingkindness and faithfulness which bear up your joys.

Are there no birds in yonder branches singing? Surely, there must be many, and they all sing of mercy received "thus far."

But the word also points forward. For when a man gets up to a certain mark, and writes "thus far," he is not yet at the end; there are still distances to be traversed. More trials, more joys; more temptations, more triumphs; more prayers, more answers; more toils, more strength; more fights, more victories; and then come sickness, old age, disease, death.

Is it over now? No! there is more yet--arising in Jesus' likeness, seeing the face of Jesus, and sharing fellowship with the saints; and experiencing the glory of God, the fullness of eternity, and infinite joy.  So dear believer, "be strong and take heart", Psalm 27:14, and with thanksgiving and confidence lift your voice in praise, for:

"The Lord who "thus far" has helped you
Will help you all your journey through."

When read in Heaven's light, how glorious and marvelous a prospect will "thus far" unfold to our grateful eyes! --C. H. Spurgeon

The Alpine shepherds have a beautiful custom of ending the day by singing to one another an evening farewell. The air is so crystalline that the song will carry long distances. As the dusk begins to fall, they gather their flocks and begin to lead them down the mountain paths, singing, "Thus far the Lord helped us. Let us praise His name!"

And at last with a sweet courtesy, they sing to one another the friendly farewell: "Goodnight! Goodnight!" The words are taken up by the echoes, and from side to side the song goes reverberating sweetly and softly until the music dies away in the distance.

So let us call out to one another through the darkness, till the gloom becomes vocal with many voices, encouraging God's weary travelers.  And may the echoes grow into a storm of hallelujahs that will break in thundering waves around His sapphire throne.  Then as the morning dawns, we will find ourselves on the shore of the "sea of glass", Revelation 4:6, crying out with the redeemed host of heaven, "To Him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb be praise and honor and glory and power, for ever and ever! (Revelation 5:13).

"This my song through endless ages, 
Jesus led me all the way."

AND AGAIN THEY SHOUTED; "HALLELUJAH!" Revelation 19:3
 

Old Times

One of my sons just called to me from their game room- "Mom, ____ is being mean."

I kid you not. Yes, they are 20 and 22.

: ) Feels like old times- all I need to do is close Allison's bedroom door and it really would be like old times. She would spend days like this cleaning and organizing her room.

I bet she is at her little house cleaning and organizing!

Life

If I died today-

I died no longer a slave.

To self, or addictions or anyone else.

If I died today-

I die, free.

Now that's called living.

Thank You, Jesus- who is my life (Colossians 3).

Luke 4:17-18

Jesus opened the book and found the place where it was written,

18 “The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me,
Because He anointed Me to preach the gospel to the poor.
He has sent Me to proclaim release to the captives,
And recovery of sight to the blind,
To set free those who are oppressed

Galatians 5:1
It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery.

Romans 8:2
For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death.

January 8-13, 2015

5 days=

1 husband

4 children- Allison, sweet hubby Ben, Cody and Johnie

Happy 25th Birthday Allison!

Merry Christmas to all of us!

Sun and books!

No cooking, no cleaning and no cellphones!

Cruising to the Bahamas and Grand Cayman Islands!

Christmas

Many times during this time of year I say, "I am not a Christmas person".

And...I'm not.

I can't seem to get Christmas cards out.  I can't seem to get any shopping done until 2 weeks before Christmas.  Then I'm rushing around trying to get the gifts- and not get the cards out- which makes me feel guilty and inadequate.

Sometimes, I wish I was a man.  Men- don't make out Christmas lists.  Or do the shopping for gifts.  Or write out cards- and actually send them.  Or get together with friends to figure out when we are all getting together- and what are we going to eat?  Now, don't get me wrong, Nick helps me.  He'll do mostly, whatever I ask to help me get through this but- the majority is up to- me (and all women).
Let's not forget all this has to be done while keeping UP with the laundry, housework, cooking (not only for our family but for all the parties and functions) and if you work outside of the home.  Or you homeschool.  Or....what's your "or"?

Then there is church functions- parties, plays, musicals.

If you have children in school- you have those parties, plays and musicals.

And then there are the family get-togethers, for both sides of the family.

Some of us live 300 miles away from our family- and travel home every Christmas day.  Then you feel as if you've cheated your own kids out of a Christmas at home.  My kids have NO idea what a "Christmas at home" is- we have only missed 2 Christmas's out of 22 not being on the road for 6 hours.  One, we were all sick with the flu.  We laid in bed and watched "George of the Jungle"- it was pleasant, although we were sick!  The second was in 2010, we ran into snow in Hendersonville and had to turn around.  Nick ended up sick with the stomach flu that day also.

But if you don't go you miss your family at "home".  I feel guilty- and inadequate.  Again.

So let's get back to the REAL reason for Christmas.  It's to celebrate Christ's birth.  And well, I guess I struggle with that too.  Oh, I believe He was born.  Certainly!  When was He born?  WE DON'T REALLY KNOW.  Some say September, some say April.

http://www.whychristmas.com/customs/25th.shtml

But we've- man, believers and unbelievers, have made it so much MORE than His birthday.  We give gifts because, "He is the gift given us, so we should give gifts to others"- and most American's go in debt.  Not just financial debt- but time debt ( I think I listed all that above- making lists, shopping, wrapping, cooking) and rest debt (how can we rest when we have all the other stuff to do?).

I really don't know when Jesus was born.  I do know we can probably pin the day of His death and resurrection and ascension before we could His birth.   We give Him ONE day as a church to worship, celebrate and thank Him for His death so that we can life- and His resurrection so we can have freedom- and His ascension so we know where He is and we are also!

After all these years, and all this stuff-  I can't honestly say I celebrate Christmas in December.    I CAN  honestly say I celebrate Christ- all of Him- daily.  The rest is just stuff I'm caught up in.  What I do enjoy is time with family and friends.  So, for me, that's what December is- time with family and friends.

I think it would freak some out to hear me say I used to enjoy Christmas before I became a believer.  Because as an unbeliever Christmas WAS all about giving gifts, making other people happy with gifts, getting gifts- that was the whole purpose of getting together with everyone- gifts, eating, some time together- it was all about fun for all of us.

Now, I love my Jesus so much- and He gets so left out- and I wonder what He even thinks about it all.

For 30 years of my life I celebrated a month of the year in anticipation of Santa bringing me something or me being the Santa giving to others.  Now for 15- I struggle with celebrating Jesus one month- His birth AND Santa.  And I feel empty.

When December 25th is over- I feel like, "OK- now we can get back to being real."

I wonder if anyone else is as weary of this as I am.

Healed

Jesus wants to heal those broken places in you....

Christiane Northrup in 'Mother-Daughter Wisdom' describes what we receive from our mothers as being similar to being dealt a hand of cards. What we received is formative and foundational, but this "hand" is NOT our destiny. If you didn't get dealt a great hand, say, or your cards are torn or bloody, folded or lousy or even missing, this is where the healing presence of Jesus Christ can come in and wash your cards clean. He gives you the cards He intended for you to have. He restores. He has established our destiny, which is to have Him formed in us. He is our inheritance, and we must bring Him our hearts, our wounds, all that we were meant to have as girls growing up. We bring Him the hand we were dealt and ask for His healing. His name is Faithful and True. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. He wants to heal us! Jesus is the One Who has the right to speak into our lives with authority and power. He has the power to bless who we are and who we are becoming. We need to hear from Him.- Stasi Eldredge, Becoming Myself

Thank You, Jesus- for healing all those broken places in me so that I be who You created me to be. Healed. Whole. Complete.

"I will be with you."

Starla Ellison

2 mins · Spartanburg, SC · Edited · 

Every year I end the year with writing in my journal about the year. Then I write about my hopes and plans and dreams for the new year. I love going back and reading them.

In 2014 I actually DID some of the things I wrote I wanted to do (run a marathon, Ireland with Nick, new living room, finished my discipleship training class and started sitting in counseling/discipleship with my mentor so that I, too, could be a counselor/discipler).

There was a lot, I didn't get to do.

There was a lot of things that I got to do that was not in my journal to do ( 2 women's bible study/fellowship at my house with wonderful women!).

When 2014 started I did not expect so many deaths and illnesses this year. So unexpected. My mother in law and her sister. My dearest friend's mother and husband. My uncle. My son-in-love's grandfather. My sister-in-law's terrible illness the whole last half of the year. My cousin's granddaughter's illness. A woman I work for who was/is my dear friend- an illness- that robbed her memory and filled her with untrue hallucinations.

But this I have found to be the most truth I will ever ever know- no matter what a new year holds or an old year held:

But now, thus says the Lord, your Creator...
And He who formed you...
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name; you are Mine!
“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
And through the rivers, they will not overflow you.
When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched,
Nor will the flame burn you.
For I am the Lord your God,
The Holy One of Israel, your Savior;
You are precious in My sight,
You are honored and I love you,
Do not fear, for I am with you;
Everyone who is called by My name,
And whom I have created for My glory,
Whom I have formed, even whom I have made.” (from Isaiah 43)

Needs

When we have children- they come with emotional needs. They come with physical needs. Most of us know that- and we do our best to take care of those needs.

But there is a need children have that I didn't know they needed when I became a parent.

They also come with spiritual needs.

BOLDNESS!

I so admire Saul. Here he was, deeply seeped and trained in the religion of the Jewish (Hebrew, Israelite) people- his people and God's chosen people.

Then Jesus.

Jesus came and broke down all the traditions and barriers through His birth, life, death, burial, resurrection AND ascension!

He created a new race of people. People that are united with Him. In union. One.

Then Saul (his name later changed to Paul) met this Jesus- and when you really meet this Jesus- you just can't be the same. Because you aren't the same. He does an inner work, in your inner man, that only He can do. A total transformation.

Paul met this Jesus- and he had a choice. He could sit nice and polite and listen to the mixture of the Old Covenant and the New Covenant- or

he could live in an intimate, moment by moment fellowship and oneness with this Jesus that has so radically exchanged him and lives within the core, the most real part, of Paul- his new, born-again spirit.

And in this intimacy Jesus spoke truth to Paul, the whole and complete gospel to Paul (Colossians 1:27, Galatians 2:20, Romans 5-8)- He revealed to Paul what none had been revealed before! Mysteries!

Paul chose Truth. Paul chose the whole and complete Gospel. Paul chose to live in intimacy with this Jesus. Because of this Paul wrote 13 letters (at least, but that's all we have) to the house churches that had gathered together. In these letters he reveals what Christ Jesus spoke and revealed to him through the Holy Spirit.

In the letter Paul wrote to the church (the body of believers, the body of Christ) in Ephesus he asked them to pray for him- this is what he said:

"and pray on my behalf, that utterance may be given to me in the opening of my mouth, TO MAKE KNOWN WITH BOLDNESS THE MYSTERY OF THE GOSPEL".

Let each of us, that God has chosen to reveal Himself Who He is and who we are because of Him- MAKE KNOW WITH BOLDNESS THE MYSTERY OF THE GOSPEL, the whole and undiluted Gospel.

“May God raise up men and women who are humble enough to learn to live by the indwelling life of Christ with other believers. And who are courageous enough to proclaim the unsearchable riches of that life in this hour”. – Frank Viola

Crazy Rich

I just listened to an audiobook about the Johnson and Johnson family. Yep, the baby powder and band aids people. It was about the 3 brothers that started the company and their descendants.  Those people are crazy and rich. 

I'm not sure anyone in the family- past, present and future- came out for the better with ALL THAT MONEY. 

I'm talking unimaginable money. Billions. Many descendants. And NOBODY happy, content or unscathed. 

It made me think about how good I've got it. About what it means to have to work- and can't imagine a life without work, without purpose. 

The Bible in Ecclesiastes tells us it's good for man to be happy and content in his work- it's from God. 

I find it a happy life- the simple life. Marriage, taking care of my kids, my home, my yard- my work. 

It's good to take a day of rest. While the cold rain pours down outside- and take a long hot bath with a cup of hot tea and- for me- a running magazine. 

Oh the simple blessings of life. Joy. Contentment. 

Friends

I was out running in the COLD morning and I asked the Lord, "What would You speak into me today?"

He began to speak to me about this year and one of the things He has done for me:

Friends. He has brought more real and true friends in my life. He has renewed old friendships and made them new, since we are all new creations in Him, now. He has made friends out of a lot of my cousins. He has deepened friendships with my dearest friends.

These friends, I am so thankful for! For the fellowship, the laughter, the crying, the praying, the eating, the hiking, the running, the walking, the teaching, the being taught, the singing- all the moments of being together!

I have such sweet intimacy with these friends, because it is the fellowship of believers. The body, being- the body.

And then He said to be, "I didn't create you to be in a box."

So much of this fellowship has happened in so many places. Pizza Hut, hospital rooms, Dorman, my living room/dining room, church buildings, others living rooms/dining rooms, driving the car, sitting the car, while walking or running, while climbing hills, while rocking on the front porch swing, while trolling around in a boat, in an old chicken hatchery in Ireland-

do you see? Anywhere Christ is- there is sweet fellowship.

I am so thankful for all of you, my friends. So thankful for all the ways we have encouraged, loved, laughed and prayed for each other this year!

You are a true gift from God!

Families Where Grace Is In Place by Jeff VanVonderen

I highly recommend this book to all parents. Maybe you and your spouse or a friend- or a group of friends could read through this together? Maybe your children/youth pastor could go through this with the parents?

I know as a parent I want my children (no matter their age) to draw their inner life and worth from Jesus.

An excerpt:

"Jesus has promised to put a well inside of us, and from that inner well life will flow. Our simple task is to remember to drink from that well instead of from all the wells that promise to fill us but never can. Being good athletically, having lots of friends, being in a relationship with the opposite sex, achieving good grades, or being captain of the church quiz team cannot fill our children. We need the well on the inside and so do our children. We need to allow ourselves to be filled daily, minute by minute, with the Spirit, and so do our children. (To me, Starla, this is intimacy with Christ.)

Wouldn't you like to help your children lean how to recognize their thirst for Jesus Christ? Wouldn't you like to help them find that Jesus is the only one who can give them life, from the inside?"

http://www.amazon.com/Families-Where-Grace-Pl…/…/ref=sr_1_1…

Families Where Grace Is in Place: Building a Home Free of Manipulation, Legalism, and Shame

Now updated with discussion guides for families and small groups, Families Where Grace Is in Place continues to minister to couples and parents nearly twenty years...

AMAZON.COM

PTSD

Last night I went to a follow-up class to the Advanced Discipleship Training Class I took for 8 months recently.

We discussed Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). I had the misconception that PTSD was for men and women that had been in the military. It is not.

As I was reading over the symptoms I began to see ME- at 9 years old until I was about 38.

I had no idea a 9 year old could suffer PTSD. Or it just hadn't clicked with me- that I did. I was in the car, and remember the accident that my mother was killed in and my sister Karen, terribly injured. I remember it all. For years I had dreams of it. At that time there was no counseling for someone- a child or adult- in Casey County- that had suffered through trauma.

I just learned to cope and deal with everything the best I could. Which was pretty lousy. I am so thankful that Casey Co. now has Adanta to help those kids that went through some of the trauma my sisters and I did with our mothers death. I am thankful God saved my sister Karen Cleary Johnson, for she IS one of those counselors!

But most of ALL, I am thankful for THE HEALER. I do not deal with PTSD, trauma, or the like anymore. He healed me, before I even knew the name of it : )

I've been walking in His healing for several years now- and boy, what a weight has been taken from me- physically, emotionally and mentally.

And if He can heal me....He can...

you...or someone you know...or that 9 year old kid you know.....

What happens when you take Christ out of the Christian?

Sometimes I think Christians look at me and think,"Gee, I just wish she'd quit talking about Jesus all the time!"  

John Lynch- Two Road Message

Ephesians 1:13b

"having also believed, you were sealed in Him (Christ Jesus) with the Holy Spirit of promise"

Before Jesus ascension into heaven, He promised to send the Holy Spirit (Third of the Trinity- Counselor and Teacher, among other things)- and once ascended- and seated at the right hand of the Father, He did.

And we as believers (aka YOU in the verse above)- when we BELIEVED in Him 

WERE- the means a DONE DEAL, and it's PAST TENSE

when you believed in Him, you WERE sealed

SEALED- ownership and security, together with destination (Strong's Concordance and Dictionary)

having believed in Him, Christ Jesus, the Holy Spirit MADE you Christ's (ownership) and you are-

se·cure (Merriam Webster, online)
: protected from danger or harm

: guarded so that no one can enter or leave without approval

AND together (ownership and security) a destination.

You are Christ'- you belong to Him, you are secure in Him- and He is your destination.

How do I know this?

The Holy Spirit sealed you IN CHRIST, IN HIM. Not merely marked BY Him, but you are IN CHRIST.

You live, remain, dwell, abide IN CHRIST.

When you believed in Christ Jesus, the Holy Spirit- the Promised One of Jesus, sealed you (safe and secure) IN Christ. Where Christ is, YOU are.

Colossians 3:1 Therefore if you have been raised up with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. 2 Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth. 3 For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God.

Sadness

I am feeling a deep sadness and sorrow today. This is the 2nd anniversary of my dear friends daughters death. I am very tearful. I am going to see her later and I have got to pull it together.  

I  am so sorry for her. So sad for my friend.  I cannot imagine her heart ache and my heart aches for and with her. 

I have no words. I just ache with her. 

Father's Day

So blessed.  A joy-filled weekend.

Lunch with dear friends, the Gibbon's and Patricia Huckeba on Friday.

Celebrated Father's Day for sweet Nick on Friday night.

The Gunters came over for 'family time' on Saturday evening, for they like family to us!  Thank you, Holly Holly Breitenbach Gunter, for a delicious meal!

This morning Nick and I get to serve, for the first time, with Scott Wolfe at the homeless ministry, Refuge, at First Baptist.

And the grand finale, meeting my Dad and Karen Cleary Johnson's family (and hopefully Tina Vaught) at Norris Dam in Tennessee for a picnic!

Happy Father's Day, Nick Ellison- you are more than I ever imagined!

Happy Father's Day, Harold Cleary, I am blessed to be called your daughter.   I adore you.

Happy Father's Day, Leonard Beasley!  You have been a father to Nick AND me.  Appointed by God, we love you and have been abundantly blessed to call you a father, to us!

To my Father, thank You.  For You.  Without You, I have and am nothing.  With You, I have Life- John 14:6.

Well, amen.

Francis Frangipane

10 mins · 

Here is what I have discovered: just before the Lord releases a new mantle or anointing upon an individual, He will often "dis-mantle" that individual’s previous level of service. This dismantling may not feel good. We may pass through a season of brokenness. But if we keep faith during the process, the new mantle with come. When it does, you will have greater conformity to Christ, and thus greater power. – In Christ’s Image Training

Easy like Sunday morning

Partly cloudy,65 degrees

And a 5 mile run with Cody : )

What a way to start the day!

Who, really, am I?

My Kiddo's!

You know, I've always loved my kids- from the moment I held their little bodies that had just come from my body.  Well, I loved them even before that!

I've been a mother since I was 19.  Feels like, all my life.  The years have flown by so very fast I can hardly keep up with all the changes in them.  They grew just as fast physically as they did emotionally and intellectually.  I've loved them in every stage of life.

But I have to say, these last few years have been the best with them.

Maybe it's because they aren't changing as fast as they used to.  They are all adults, independent and making their own choices.  Kind of paying their own way- to a point.

Maybe it's me....finally comfortable with my own self.

Maybe it's because we don't have the conflict as much as we did during the growing up years.

Maybe now, I can be more of a friend and confidante than I could then.  I can just be me now instead of Mom that had to have it all together (I thought, and it was all a facade, anyway).  Being a mom is hard work.  So many chores and keeping up with school, church, activities.  And working outside the home.  It was an endless cycle of constant activity.  Although, I must say, there came a point when the kids were early teenagers when we said NO to all the activities (sports).  We felt it was more important, and still do, that being with church youth group was more important and having down time.  Some kids today their time is so structured!

I've come to cherish and enjoy the moments I have with them.  I don't take for granted the moments like I used to.

I love being with them.  I love that we are a close family who enjoys each other's company.  I thank God for that.  It's only because of Him that we are a close family.  Oh Jesus...the Healer so much more than we ever know!

I love you, my Lord.  Oh, how I love You!

Longing....

"The Holy Spirit puts within the hearts of all genuine believers a desire for authentic community".- Frank Viola, Reimagining Church.

There are some I do experience authentic community with- a dear couple God brought into our life, Connie and Beas, Nick and I call them "our parents" -a few with church-body I attend - and then the people God brought into my life since 2008.  I guess to me they are the Exchanged Life people although I hate to label them.  They are my 'authentic community' - I feel more myself around the people I mentioned above than I do other believers.  Sometimes I feel when I am with the other believers church is a thing people do, not WHO we are.

I am thankful for the authentic community God has brought into my life.  I just long to be with them more-

just more.  : )

Well, amen!

A runners tan

You know how a farmer only gets tanned on his arms- it's called a farmers tan?

Well this is a runners tan!  Lol

Cody

My second child, first son

21

A runner!   

I can't see...

Today my best friend, Patricia and I were talking about our loved ones already with Jesus.  Patricia has a daughter, Anna, with Him.   My closest relative with Him is my mom.

It's hard when your loved one has been physically called away from the world. I know we still are connected because we are both children of God and therefore are part of one Body, His Body. 

I KNOW that but I can't see as Patricia sees. It's been 35 years since I last saw my mom.   She rocked me. She held me. She carried me in her body for 9 months. Trust me, grief over her sudden death at such a young age just about destroyed me for years. I got through the best I could. 

But I can't see (know, experience) the loss and grief Patricia goes through. She rocked Anna. She held Anna. She carried Anna in her body for 9 months. That grief and loss and despair has to be so different than any grief I went through- still go through- from time to time. 

Flesh of her flesh, bone of her bone. I can't imagine the ache not just in her heart but her arms. The ache of her eyes. The ache of her fingertips. The ache of her lips. The ache of her nose. The ache of a mother who on this life cannot hold or see or touch or kiss or smell her daughter. 

Does she sit quietly with You, Jesus and close her eyes and rest deep in her spirit where You are and because You are- Anna is- and hold her daughter?  Run her fingers through Anna's hair? Kiss her cheeks?  Bury her face in Anna's neck and smell her skin?

Does she get out of the temporal and seen and experience through You the eternal and unseen?  

I can't see as she sees. I can only see what has been shown to me. 

But Jesus, I see- 

For a mother whose child is not with her on this earth or a child whose mother is not with her on this earth- our blessings are different. 

Our blessings are seeing what You can and will do IN those that desire- yes, cannot even live without- You speaking truth and life and peace and eternal and unseen things into us. 

As we experience eternal life in you- Your riches - blessings- are poured into us. 

Even allowing us to SEE the ones we love that are in You. 

A Calm Morning and a Touch of Jesus

There is nothing like peace and calmness. 

Nothing. 

I'm sitting on the pool deck- the birds chirping and a light wind. 

I love this time of year.  The vibrant blue skies. The green green grass. The multi hues of the grass and trees. 

And the smells!  Honeysuckle and holly blooms. 

What I feel by these sounds, and smells, and the touching of the wind- takes me back in time. 

Always always to my mom. These things make me think of her. 

Back to the farm. To a clean house. To the garden and the smell of fresh, overturned earth. To clothes hanging on the line- clean, air-dried sheets. 

I think there, on the farm and in that time of her life, she felt peace in her soul, probably the only time in her life that she did. 

My mom. Although I do not look like her, I find my self very much like her. We liked the same things (all listed above) and we dealt with the same issues. 

The only difference was she found healing for all if her "issues" in the literal arms of Jesus, on April 28, 1979. She was 39. 

I found healing in Jesus, for my issues, at 38. But I have yet seen him face-to-face. 

Yet, yet. I have. I have beheld Him. I can't imagine Him being any closer or more intimate than He already is. 

As glorious as He is to me now,  I can't imagine it, but He will be more so to me- when I look into His eye on that day. 

Oh Jesus. You give us but a touch, overwhelming and encompassing touch, of You now- life, joy, healing and PEACE-  but to know there is MORE!  

Oh wow!  Can I handle much more then?  

Precious Jesus. Thank You!

My friends FB status....

MaryDale Morgan

We have all suffered. We have all endured disappointments or pain....or we will. It is heart breaking that many Christians do not know how to give those hurts to the Lord and allow Him to heal the hurts. It is a process that I am still learning and it takes a great deal of trust....but He is trustworthy! If we don't give the hurts to Him, we will try to manage those hurts another way......but it won't work.....and, in that, we will continue to suffer and we will continue to hurt others. We don't judge perfectly and we don't know the full story - EVER. I am sorry for the hurts I have caused others out of my own hurts and issues. I am grieved that, as Christians, we try to control our behavior rather than allow Him to live thru us. it is the only way to peace and freedom.....and joy! Trusting Him to complete the work that He began......and He will........

Mothers Day 2014

Bible Junkie..or maybe a Note Junkie?

Ok, I admit it.  I am a Bible Junkie.  I love Bibles.  I have so many Bibles that I keep at my study nook that I use- to study regularly.

I also make LOTS of notes in them.  Which is not really good considering I do not always have that Bible with me when I want to use the notes I've wrote in them.

In 2008 I "put my Bible up" because it became an idol to me.  It was a Life Application Study Bible that I had bought before I was saved, 8 years before.  I took it everywhere.  It became God to me.  Anyway...

A few months later, I bought NASB study Bible, after MUCH research.  I liked it.  I made a lot of notes in it.  When Allison got married I had her name put on the cover and gave it to her for her wedding gift from me.  Notes and all.  I did make copies of all the notes though : )

Since then I've had several Bibles but none I really really liked.  I prefer the NASB.  I researched a good study Bible and the ONLY one I found that wasn't dual-natured in the notes was the Nelson Study Bible.  It's a NKJV.  I like it but....

I have the Charles Stanley NASB.  I like it but there aren't many notes in it.

So...I don't really like the ESV or the notes in the ESV Bible I got.

I like it when a Bible capitalizes He for Jesus/God.  I like it when there is a distinction when it speak of God and man.

So, for my birthday this year my kids bought me a side-by-side companion Bible.  It has NIV, KJV, NASB and Amplified.  I love it!  But there isn't much for notes.

So, what to do???

Finally, it dawned on me this week!  I have a 5x7 binder- and I copied all the notes from my Bibles and put them in my binder.  Some of my favorite poems and sermons.  I wanted something small to carry with my Bible.  I don't just 'carry' a Bible.  I put it in a bag (along with pens, paper, candy/gum, Kleenex, water)- I always have my bag with me!

I bought an adjustable hole punch and now I am ready!  I can have my Bible and all my notes with me!  : )

Well, amen!

Dream Days....

Today has been a dream of a day!  It's one of those rare days that I get.  I'm off from work.  : )

Did my usual morning chores- bed made up, dishes, started laundry.

And I ran 7.5 miles- 60+ degrees and a little wind to cool me down!

I even, kind of, got in the pool!

Talked to Karen on the phone.

Push mowed the yard and my garden- well, trim what others won't get with a riding mower.

Fixed BREAKFAST!  Bacon, eggs and toast!

Now, I'm going to finish trimming, work on laundry, unload the dish washer, decide on supper.

Oh I love days like this.

It's a dream day.

: )

Sebastian

In 2007 my Dad's dog had a litter of puppies. Cody immediately fell in love with one. After much convincing Nick let us bring Sebastian home (Cody named him).

We built him a good size pen- and he barked all night.  I couldn't handle it, so I brought him in.

He has been in ever since!

Of course, he had parvo- so $1000 later, his life was saved.

Then a couple years later, he got very sick- still don't know why- and $1000 later, he got better!

He is my runner dog.  He LOVES to run!  I take him to the trails unleashed and he runs like a deer!  He is beautiful to watch!

I leash him and he runs the road with me.  We are a good team.

Last weekend, while Nick and I were gone Cody accidentally squirted Dawn dish liquid in his eye (something about Sebe was trying to get in the garbage and Cody was doing dishes...IDK!).  All our kids and friends tried washing the eye out with water.  Then we called Connie and she suggested Visine, but not the red-eye.  They tried that and once we got home, we did too.

But still no better.  So yesterday, off the the vet.  $200 later, and a dog that was sedated....and 2 meds we have to put in his eye- we hope he is on the mend.

Poor dog!!!!

What am I reading?

Happy Graduation Day and Happy BIRTH DAY!

Happy Graduation Day, Mrs Jenny Green Trotter!  Graduating from Clemson University with a degree in Industrial Engineering! WHOA!  That's a degree! I am super proud of your accomplishments!  I love you, am praying for you and looking forward to seeing you grow more and more in all ways!  May Jesus be the Center of who you are in all ways!

Happy day of birth to Miss Bayleigh Hope Sitman- today the daughter of Heather Ledbetter Sitman and Josh Sitman will be born!  May you, sweet girl, grow in the knowledge and grace of the Lord Jesus Christ!

6lbs 5oz 20.5 inches long!

A Mom's Dream Come True!

See that red-faced beauty?  She is my baby girl- TRAINING FOR A 5K- with me!

I was VERY surprised because she ran up two hills and 1.3 miles without stopping!  I am so proud of her!  I can't wait to see what she can REALLY do!

A Video Everyone Needs To See

http://blog.petflow.com/a-video-everyone-needs-to-see/

Just a question....

Why do Christians believe human beings or babies become angels when they die?

NO WHERE in Scripture does it say that.

We are human beings.  They are angels.  We were created in God's image.  They were not.

Human beings do not die and become angels.   Angels do not become human beings.

Ferritin

Well, I have a funny feeling (namely fatigue and heart-racing) that my ferritin levels are low again.  Last time I was diagnosed with this was November of 2012.  I had the oddest symptoms:

fatigue- dragging myself around about 3pm
racing heart/shortness of breath
burning eyes
my stomach upset a lot
and I just couldn't seem to focus and concentrate, zombie-like

Those were the main symptoms.  When I went to the doctor he did blood work and sure enough- low ferritin levels.

I am having most of those same symptoms again.  I haven't kept up with my vitamins lately : (  Yes, I know.  My fault.

So, I started back on the 'comfort iron' tonight.  Let's get this party started!

Here is a a great page on Ferritin:

http://glutenintoleranceschool.com/low-ferritin-symptoms/

Lovely

Wow, was I blessed!

Nick and I went home to Kentucky over the weekend.  We had a great time!

Saturday Dad and I started the day out early- going to the cemetery, yes we do that, almost every time I go home.  All my people are buried there.  It's kind of like honoring their memory and my family- the people I come from.

Then we drove down Apostolic Road- yes...that's it's real name.  But we call it, Postolic- It wasn't until the last few months I figured out what the name mean't!

And we toured the parsonage they are building.

We picked up Karen and Baron then spent the day on the road.  Dad drove us to the Amish- I visited 3 stores.  I got herbs and vegetables for my garden.  I got some of the things I can't get here:  powdered chicken broth, dried red peppers and some gluten free flour (just in case Nick's has a food allergy to gluten, we will know this week).

We went to visit my older sister, Sis.  Her grand daughter Addy and grandson Bryson, were there.  I got to share with Sis some things about Mom.  I pray for my sister.

Then we drove all over the country.  We saw quilt blocks on barns, fields of canola- beautiful, rolling hills of yellow.  Dad bought two border collie puppies!  He named them Bo and Luke!  LOL  So cute!

Then we stopped at an OLD TIME grocery, Mintonville Grocery, where some old family friends had opened it up- with a small restaurant inside, and the original interior!  It was wonderful!

Then on to Dad's where my sister Tina and her grand daughters were waiting for us.  Maleeha, Laniya and Hazlee.  They helped me dig up LOTS of dandelion roots!

We feasted on FRESH turkey my brother-in-law, Barry killed just that morning!

My younger sister Tabitha and her two boys- Kyler and Brody were there also.

I woke up Sunday morning with VERTIGO!!!  Ugg...my head was rolling around!  I finally got up and went outside for a bit.  My head seemed to clear some.

I was able to go to gather with the church-body and that is where I was so blessed!

Here we are at a small (less than 35 people there) country church-body in south-central Kentucky and the preacher, Brother Darrell- eloquently and beautifully lead us through the Scriptures about:

our old corrupted sinful man is dead and through Christ we have a new inner man
take off the old man and put on the new
holiness is our ID (identity)
we are secure
we are no longer slaves of sin, sin is not our master
we are servants of righteousness
we can reject man-made doctrines of holiness but not's Christ's holiness
it's our profit and God's glory to identify with our holiness
who is your hope in?
which highway are you on?  Isaiah 35:8
"hope so, guess so, and maybe so" is not the highway to be on

These are all the verses he used:
1 Thess 4:7
Eph 4:24
Romans 6:19, 22
1 Thess 3:11-13
2 Thess 2:13
1 Thess 4:8
Acts 23:9
Titus 2:3
Heb 12:10
Isaiah 35:8

It was wonderful!  He was very well spoken and spoke well!  I told him afterward it was the best sermon I had ever heard him preach!  He actually looked embarrassed!

I kept turning around to look at Nick!  I couldn't believe it!

Here he is- a bi-vocational pastor.  Of a tiny church-body.  He is in his 60's.  He has been there for years.  For years he would not accept any pay.  Then the Nazarene denomination MADE him accept some.  But my dad thinks he puts it right back into the church.  He drives from another county every Sunday- twice a day.  He was a road crew supervisor for years.  Last I heard he was a security guard at a college.  He is not afraid to preach the truth in love.  I saw humbleness and kindness in him yesterday,  Here is a man that has NEVER had ANY formal education- except through the anointing of the Holy Spirit.

One woman (my cousin, actually, of course) whose daughter is in the hospital in Ohio came to the front of the church- the whole church-body gathered around her while Brother Darrell anointed her with oil.  Everyone prayed over her- not silently but all at once.  Amen.

Brother Darrell is not controlled by people.  Nor money.  He allows the Holy Spirit to lead him.  Sometimes where it hurts.  But first, he is humble enough to allow the Lord to lead him.

Amen and amen.  I wonder, does this little church-body realize they have the REAL DEAL?

Grace Girls

Patricia and I put together a PACKED 4 week study we entitled, "Grace Girls".

Week One:  *Our concept of God (where we get it) and Who God really is,

                    *Our worth to God

Week Two:  *How God created man,
                    *How we are created anew after we believe in Jesus (I'm was a sinner saved by grace, now I am a saint who sometimes sins) That OLD SINFUL INNER MAN has been crucified with Christ, and a NEW RIGHTEOUS AND HOLY INNER MAN has raised with Him!  And He lives in my new man!  I am a completely NEW creation- one that has never existed before!

                     *Two aspects of the Cross-
                           -Saved from my sins (deals with behavior)  He is our Substitution
                           -Saved from my self (deals with my identity) I am united with Him

Week Three: *God-given needs (Love Acceptance Worth Security/Significance Truth) everyone is born with but only God can fill.

                     *Flesh- trying to get those needs met apart from God.  -flesh patterns, coping mechanisms, learned habits and behaviors

                     *What are our specific flesh patterns and how did we get them?

                     *Which tree are we living from?  Two Trees

Week Four:   *The Root Issue is an Identity Issue, Who am I?

                      *Love notes and Envelopes

                      *Truth vs Feelings

                      *Selfers Prayer

Last night was our last night.  It was wonderful.  It is such a blessing to be able to share Who God is and who we are because of Him.  These truth totally changed my life 5+ years ago...and He continues to speak Himself into me, moment by moment:

http://vinejohn15branch.blogspot.com/2008/11/one-monthmoment-by-moment.html

Kentucky Bound!

Tonight I am going home for the first time since Christmas!!!

Tonight I get to see my beloved Dad!  He was here a month ago for my birthday...but I sure miss him and I miss the beautiful farm!  Lovely weather expected!

May Day!

I haven't ran all week!  I walked 4 miles with Sebastian on Monday. I rode the stationary bike 6.5 miles on Tuesday. 

That's it!  

So I went out for 5.1 miles this morning just because it's 5/1!  : )

And I am really pleased with my time. But boy does the sciatic on my right leg hurt!!!!   The faster I run the more pain. 

Well amen! My thorn in the flesh!

Thy Hidden Ones by Jessie Penn-Lewis, 1899

Song of Soloman 7:12 There will I give Thee my love

It is blessed to see this hidden one is growing in the knowledge of her Lord.  There was so much of "me" and "my" in those early days (SOS 2:3-6).
 
Then it was, "My Beloved is unto me" (1:14).

Now she say, "There will I give Thee my love"; in effect, "Give the love Thou hast implanted in me back to Thee, by pouring it out of those for whom Thou hast died".  "Unto the least of these My brethren...unto Me" (Matthew 25:40), the Master said.  In binding up the broken-hearted with His word of healing, in proclaiming His liberty to the captives, in comforting all that mourn with the comfort of God, her life is love; and love-His love-is satisified!

She has learned to be "at home" in the sanctuary of His Presence everywhere.  "There" in the midst of ceaseless service, He is with her, and "there", in pouring out to thirsty hearts she gives Him to drink.

ADT Testimony

This is my 8 month Advanced Discipleship Training Testimony:

cwww.youtube.com/watch?v=FtMku5AggYc

Again...I haven't figured out how to put a thumbnail on it!

The Revelation of Jesus Christ

Settle me, Lord.

Jesus, my Beloved.

Yesterday I got to do something I have desired for a VERY long time.  I got to sit down and talk for about an hour and a half with a young man who struggles greatly with something.  Something he cannot control.  It's a part of his brain function that just- is.  Out of that comes other disorders.  My heart breaks for him.  But he puts up a facade.  He is fake.  He has learned to be fake to cope with his disorder and- a family member who just wants him to be perfect.

I got to share with him how God created him.  Spirit, soul and body.  I told him the functions of his whole self.  We talked about how his disorder and his family made him feel.  His emotions are so calloused he hardly KNOWS how he feels.

We talked about flesh- coping mechanisms.  It astounds me how little the church as a whole knows about how God created man- why He created man- and how we deal with life apart from Him.  But I understand.  How can a pastor or teacher or just anyone preach/teach what they don't know?  No wonder they stick with the Old Testament.  No wonder they preach/teach with "do-do" glasses on.  They have not had the revelation of Jesus Christ.  They know Him as Savior, Master, Lord and maybe Friend but they do know know Him as Peace, Joy, Healer, Life, Truth, Resurrection, Creator of the new inner man.

The young man asked me, "What can I pray for myself?"

What a great question!

I simply said, "Ask Jesus to reveal Himself to you."

I don't think that is exactly what he wanted to hear but I can't tell him anything else BUT Jesus.  Jesus is the Way and every other way is NOT the way.  He is enough.  His riches are Himself- why would we want anything else?

Then my sister called me.  Just heart broken.  A young man she knows (I do not know him)- a "wonderful Christian boy"- who is actually in the ministry, just got his girlfriend pregnant.

Oh, the secrets we hide.  Oh, the facades we put on.  She told me this young man was "all godly" on the outside but on the inside- a mess.  But not many people knew it.

And you know what?  He may marry the girl.  But if he doesn't come to really KNOW this Jesus, if he doesn't let this Jesus do a mighty work in him (and it may hurt!), and if he doesn't allow this Jesus to heal him- then marrying the girl won't solve the problem.  Because the problem is not the problem.  It's just a symptom of something else going on in him.  It will manifest in many other ways in his life.

This kid is just eating from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil- both sides.  The self-righteous and the unrighteous.  He is just trying to get his needs met.  Love, Acceptance, Worth and Security.  By being a "good Christian boy" and by giving in to the 'lust of the flesh, lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life'.  It's all flesh.  And flesh always leads to death.  There is no life and peace apart from God, for He IS Life and Peace.  And God WILL NOT allow anything but Himself bring us Life and Peace.

But only God can meet the needs- Love Acceptance Worth Security Truth Significance- that He created BOTH these young men with!  Which one will come to the end of their self and allow Him to anoint them with Himself? Either one?  Both?

I pray they both will.

Exploding Head

Sometimes I think my head is going to explode.  There is SO much going through it- ALL THE TIME.  If I could log all the thoughts I have in 5 minutes this blog would go and go and go.

What would I do without a list?  I am not sure I could survive!  And we women, we get the brunt of things.  How many men think these thoughts?

We need new sheets.  I need to change the sheets.  I'll hang them on the line.  I need new clothes pins.  And dog food.  And a snack for the study Thursday night.  I need to make copies of that last page.  It's going to rain.  Well, we need it.  The pool needs water.  I am so glad summer is here.  I hate winter.   I can't wait until heaven, I know the weather will be perfect there!  Don't forget to spray for ants.  Ug, I still didn't get all the windows cleaned outside.  We are out of bread, put that on the list.  I really don't want to go to work today.  I have to move money from the one account to the other or there won't be any money for bread and dogfood!  Ireland is one month away.  What about Nick and his sickness?  How are we going to deal with that.  Oh Jesus, you know our need!  What am I going to do about White Pines?  Your desire, Lord?  Thank You for Connie and our conversation yesterday.  I hope the storms aren't bad.  Lord, help me not to be overwhelmed.  Trust.  You hold all things together.  My kids are all things, Nick is all things, my friends and family are all things, I am all things.  No, I don't need to take my vacuum today.  No, no cleaning supplies either.  I look up to the sky and say, "You're Beautiful!".  I miss my Dad.  I can't wait to go home this weekend!  I need to send Karen money for Mom's flowers and Dad's cellphone.  Wasn't that so special and kind of Justin to ask Nick and I to sit in as his parents at his wedding?  Time to load the washer, ride the bike and go to work.

Yes, that's how my mind works!

Well, amen!