Yield

When I open the Scriptures I ask the Lord, "Lord- as I open these precious words- speak into my heart the truth of them.  Teach me what You want me to know (intimately experience) from them."

One day, He said to me "I want you to know what 'submit' means."

Now, He knows- I struggle with that word.  "Submit" to me was to do what I was told to do not matter what.  Even if my heart wasn't in it.  It was a negative word.  "Submit" to Nick?  To me it was like a dog to a master, a broken will.  To be submissive.

But as I opened Scripture and God spoke to me the truth He said, "What does the word submit mean?"

So I looked it up:

"to yield to governance or authority "
"to yield oneself to the authority or will of another :surrender"

It means to YIELD!

Then He gave me a word picture of yield, "Starla, when you are entering the interstate- driving onto the the interstate what are you doing?"

"Well, Lord, I'm yielding."

"Yes? And?  Think- what are you doing?"

"I'm leaving one road and getting on another."

"Yes, you are joining your road into another road.  You are joining.  You are going from two roads into one."

"Yes, Lord, that is true!", I said- thinking, thinking.

"Submitting is yielding- yielding is joining together, into one.  When you submit you are yielding into one.  Now, do you KNOW?"

"Yes, Lord!  Yes!!!!"

When God speaks into you His truth- YOU KNOW (intimately experience)~!  God doesn't want to "break" our will.  He wants our will to yield into His.  To be His.  He wants a man and woman to yield (join together into one) into Him- together.  Amen!

NOTHING! There is NOTHING the NEARNESS of Christ cannot HEAL!

All around me I see a world starving for love- for attention/acceptance- for worth- for security.

The people look within- and they are empty so they cannot find love, attention/acceptance, worth or security on the inside.

The people look out- and there is so MUCH.  So much to do, to see, to taste, to smell, to feel, to touch but in the end all the STUFF- is also empty.

So how does one find love, attention, worth and security?  REAL love?  Real acceptance?  Real worth?  Real security?

There is nothing the nearness of Christ cannot heal.

Jesus.  THE Healer.  The ONE that came to set the captive free.

So many believers are enslaved to lies and deception.  Most don't even know they are- they just know they are hardly ever settled on the inside- hardly ever at peace.  They feel chaotic and don't know why.  They can't control their emotions or their thoughts or their actions.  Words come out that- in their deepest heart they do not mean.

I will go as far to say that most depression, anxiety, emotional problems all stem from lack of trust, belief, resting and abiding in Christ.  He is the Healer.  He came to heal the broken, to set the captive free.  But we don't really believe that He can or will. We don't trust what He has said in Scripture.  We want a pill.  We don't want God to do the work in us, cause He will bring up some things that need dealt with- confessed possibly, repentance definitely- AND it hurts.  The world tells us that everything is GOOD and OK- just do what you want but doing what we want is not always GOOD for us.  There will be consequences and fruit.  And sometimes it goes on for generations.

Last night, a precious woman came up to me- tears in her eyes- and she said to me, "I'm struggling".  And I looked in her eyes and I saw something, I saw that she REALLY REALLY wanted Jesus.  I told her, that is the BEST place to be!  Because that means Jesus is calling her, speaking into her- "I want a more intimate fellowship with you.  Let Me heal you."  Key word here?  LET.  He will not force healing, or intimacy.  She must have a willing heart.  Friend, it's worth it.  Even though He will reveal things about you that you never thought, that you hid, that is ugly, that is scary, that is selfish, prideful, stubborn- that is wounded- what He reveals, He heals.

There is NOTHING the nearness of Christ cannot heal.

Galatians 2:20
 I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.

Guess

Guess who one of the Ellison's favorite shoe company is?

ONE YEAR! June 16, 2013

June 16, 2012!

One year ago today- my baby girl married the most awesome young man that I am super proud to call my son-in-love!

Karen, Dad and Me

1976 and 2012

36 years!

My dear Dad, Harold Cleary.

Many many years ago- I was probably 11 or 12 years old and was staying with my sister Tina in Cincinnati during summer school break.  Father's Day came and my heart was broken- I missed my Dad so so much.  When I talked to him that morning, I cried and cried.  I just didn't know if I could stay much longer without him.  I can't remember what I said to him.  All I remember is crying- knowing it was going to be quite awhile before I saw him again.

Then hours later, I was outside playing with a neighbor when a familiar car pulled in the driveway.  My dad.  He came and got me.

To this day I remember the relief I felt when I woke up the next morning- in my own bed- looking out over our farm in Kentucky.  Watching through the window, my dear Dad walking to the barn.  Home.  My dad brought me home.

How to get a good nights sleep!

Get up early.
Spend some time with Jesus.
Go running.
Work hard all day.

Eat well. Eat at a proper time.
Drink plenty of water.

When I have physically worked hard all day- I don't have a bit of problem sleeping. I can't hardly stay awake : )

Happy Father's Day!

Harold Cleary

My dad- well- he is pretty awesome. He taught me how to wash dishes, wash clothes, iron clothes. He taught me to work, to work hard, to work without complaining (still working on that!) until the job is done. To do a good job and to do it right the first time. He showed me love- and he told me he loved me. As he has gotten older and I have gotten older, our relationship and love has flourished. I respect him. I adore him. He disciplined me but he let me go my own way and make my own choices. He never told me he was disappointed in me or discouraged by me- although I know at times he was. My dad stepped up and did the best he could when he himself was devastated and mourning. He just did what he had to do. I am blessed to be Harold Cleary's daughter. I am thankful for my sweet daddy.

Nick Ellison

My husband-well- he too is pretty awesome. They say you marry a man like your dad. In many ways Nick is like Dad. They both do what they have to do to keep this family going by working hard and loving us. ButNick Ellison, I knew that since I was 15 he was pretty special- but as the years have gone by- he has turned out to be more than I ever hoped for. He loves me. Maybe as much as Dad does : ) And in turn he loves our children. He respects our children and treats them justly. He is a great balance to me. He is the part that has made me- us- a whole. He is a wonderful father. My daughter has always felt the love of her father- my boys, too. He is affectionate and kind. He loves to have fun with them- and work with them- and of course watch BALL with them! I love you, Nick- I am so blessed and thankful to call you my husband and the father of my children.



BLESSED

Do NOT give up!

Being a parent is super hard.  Well, it was for me anyway.  Wasn't my kids fault- they are just kids.  I just for one- didn't KNOW what the world I was doing (seriously, who does?) and for second- for most of their life in our home I was an emotional mess.  A control freak.  My coping mechanisms to deal with fears within and fears without.

But God.  He came to me at JUST the right time and I said YES to Him at just the right time.  So when Allison was 10, Cody was 7 and Johnie 5- we began to take our children to church and learn how to raise them as believers in Christ.  They all have came to place their faith, hope and trust in Him also.  I honestly can not imagine WHERE our marriage would be AND our children would be without Jesus.  I praise Him and thank Him for revealing Himself to us- JUST WHEN WE ALL NEEDED HIM THE MOST!

But even when I became a believer I still didn't know how to deal with my emotional mess.  So, I became a very good believer.  Now I realize that I thought "if I could just be a good believer and learn all I can then eventually I will be like how I train myself."  So the things that were natural desires in me- prayer, studying Scripture, journalling, teaching- became obsessive and unnatural.  More about learning so that others could see how knowledgeable, how "devout" I was, how good a Christian I am.  It was a slow process and I never even realized I was doing it.  I wore a mask, covering up my fears and insecurities.  People would spot me for the fake I really was if I showed them my REAL self.

Do you have any idea what this looks like to a kid?  Mom looks very different at church and around her church friends than she does at home.  Duplicity.

Here is the good news.  If your hearts desire is TRULY not to be divided- then God will give you the desires of your heart!  I wanted so badly to BE on the outside who I KNEW I was on the inside!  I just didn't know how to do that.

Then God.  Sometimes God allows you to become a dragon on the outside so that He can strip away the fake outer man- and reveal who you really are ON THE INSIDE!

From The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, third book in the Narnian series

Eustace's Baptism:

"I looked up and saw the very last thing I expected: a huge lion coming slowly toward me. And one queer thing was that there was no moon last night, but there was moonlight where the lion was. So it came nearer and nearer. I was terribly afraid of it. You may think that, being a dragon, I could have knocked any lion out easily enough. But it wasn't that kind of fear. I wasn't afraid of it eating me, I was just afraid of it -- if you can understand. Well, it came close up to me and looked straight into my eyes. And I shut my eyes tight. But that wasn't any good because it told me to follow it."

"You mean it spoke?"

"I don't know. Now that you mention it, I don't think it did. But it told me all the same. And I knew I'd have to do what it told me, so I got up and followed it. And it led me a long way into the mountains. And there was always this moonlight over and round the lion wherever we went. So at last when we came to the top of a mountain I'd never seen before and on the top of this mountain there was a garden - trees and fruit and everything. In the middle of it there was a well. . . .

"Then the lion said -- but I don't know if it spoke -- 'You will have to let me undress you.' I was afraid of his claws, I can tell you, but I was pretty nearly desperate now. So I just lay flat down on my back to let him do it.

"The very first tear he made was so deep that I thought it had gone right into my heart. And when he began pulling the skin off, it hurt worse than anything I've ever felt. The only thing that made me able to bear it was just the pleasure of feeling the stuff peel off. You know -- if you've ever picked the scab off a sore place. It hurts like billy -- oh but it is such fun to see it coming away."

"I know exactly what you mean," said Edmund.

"Well, he peeled the beastly stuff right off -- just as I thought I'd done it myself the other three times, only they hadn't hurt -- and there it was lying on the grass: only ever so much thicker, and darker, and more knobly-looking than the others had been. And there was I as smooth and soft as a peeled switch and smaller than I had been. Then he caught hold of me -- I didn't like that much for I was very tender underneath now that I'd no skin on -- and threw me into the water. It smarted like anything but only for a moment. After that it became perfectly delicious and as soon as I started swimming and splashing I found that all the pain had gone from my arm. And then I saw why. I'd turned into a boy again." [115-116]

Only Aslan could undress Eustace.  Only Aslan could rip the the dragon skin away from Eustace.  Only Aslan could reveal the true inner man, conform the outer man to the truth of the inner man.  Only Aslan could  immerse Eustace in the water to bring about healing. Same for me.  Only God could reveal to me that what I said didn't match up to my actions.  Only God could strip away the flesh (in dependency and coping mechanisms apart from God).  Only God could bring into alignment my inner man and outer man.  Only God could immerse me in Himself and heal me.  

 And when God began to do that He began to heal my family.  All along I blamed Nick and the kids because they didn't act, say or do the things that would make me feel right.  When all along, it was ME.  And when He began to heal me and reveal more of Himself to me- He began a healing in us all.  AT JUST THE RIGHT TIME.

The years my kids were young were hard.  Their teenage years, hard.  Growing into adults, hard.  In different ways.  I look back and realize how often God carried me through those years.   He still is.  But He was always there.  Always faithful.  And you know, so was I.  I was always there for them.  Sure I was a "bad" mom at times, and sometimes I highlight those times more than the times I was "good".  We become performance based- oh wait- thats what I was talking about earlier huh?  I was a performanced based Christian!  But God wanted me to be - well- REAL.

So, here I am.  Real.   My kids see the real and raw Mom.  They see that more times than not, I chose to allow Christ to be my Life, my Hope, my Strength, my Healer, my Peace, my Joy and my Love.  They see that Christ is working, in me.  That in Him, I live, move and exist.  And you know, I see that in my kids too.  I see Jesus revealing Himself to them in a unique way.  I see Him, revealing who they really are on the inside.  I see Him stripping away that old dragon and immersing each one of them in Him- again and again.


And it makes all the years, all the tears, all the prayers, all the 'sticking with it'- worth it.   My kids- will never be super stars according to this world.  They will never be super stars in the Christian community.  I do not want them to be.  I just want them to be real.  And raw.   I want them to live from Christ who lives within them. 

 And I think that is exactly how He wants them to "live, move and exist" also.  

Bare feet in SC

     In SC we have these little demons called fireants.  They are ants that bite the fire out of you.  So, you really can't go barefooted.  But Nick found this spray that is AWESOME and now, I can go barefooted in my yard!!!

My herb garden!

Yarrow, isn't it beautiful?

Sebastian's First Leashed Run and Burdock

I took Sebastian on his first leashed road run today. Now my dog, he is a runner dog. He loves to run. If someone puts in running shoes on in this house he follows you around, knowing its time to run.

But he runs trails! Whenever we go for a run on the trails he runs double the amount we do because he is unleashed and has the best time running through the woods.

And he is beautiful to watch. Leaping, sprinting and actually smiling!

Lately we have had so much rain the trails are a mud pit. I don't like mud pits to run in! I do not like to come home and wash a muddy dog! And snakes! The snakes are bad this year.

So Sebastian hasn't ran on the trails much. He looked so pitiful this morning and I bought a new leash- so off we go!

He loved it and ran well with a leash. I was concerned he would jerk my arm off. But he stayed with me.

About 2.5 miles into the run we had to step into the ditch for a truck to pass us and low and behold! Burdock! I pulled the two little plants out if the ground and ran back home with them. My neighbors have figured me out by now. It's not unusual to see me running with plants I've pulled up.

Now my baby burdock plants have a new home in my garden.

And what did Sebastian do when we got home? Jumped in the pool! (Don't tell Nick!). He was in and out before I knew it - I was planting my plants.

So we had a good 5 mile run and got some plants!

Vinegars and Oils

Left to right

Dandelion Vinegar

Rosemary/patchouli/sweet marjoram Vinegar

Fig olive/coconut oils.

25th (+) Anniversary!

In July Nick and I will celebrate our 25th anniversary!  Whoo hoo!  Trust me, that is an awesome achievement for us!  Truly, God saved our marriage and made it what it is today.  NO DOUBT.

So we decided do something "big"!  And debt free : )  So we are saving up and going to:

                           Nenagh, Tipperary, Ireland

For 8 days!

May 17-25, 2014

The plan:

Fly into Dublin, stay over night and rent a car-

Spend 6 days touring castles, caves, lakes, hiking, pubs and see the coast at Co. Clare (hmm...Cleary, my maiden name...sound familiar?)

Here:

Willowbrook Bed and Breakfast

and the last night...back to Dublin!

Whoa!!!!! If that's what Scriptures says, why do we look and act so different?

Titus 2:1-8

1 But as for you, speak the things which are fitting for sound doctrine.

 2 Older men are to be temperate, dignified, sensible, sound in faith, in love, in perseverance. 3 Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, 

 4 so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, 

5 to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.

6 Likewise urge the young men to be sensible; 

7 in all things show yourself to be an example of good deeds, with purity in doctrine, dignified, 

8 sound in speech which is beyond reproach, so that the opponent will be put to shame, having nothing bad to say about us.

1 Thessalonians 4:11

and to make it your ambition to lead a quiet life and attend to your own business and work with your hands, just as we commanded you,

Ephesians 4

29 Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. 30 Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32 Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.

Many times we wonder, "How in the world did Satan get a foothold here?"  Whether it be in our home,  our family, our work, our church, our ministry or our community.  How?  What happened to cause such chaos and division?  

Well, for one thing- selfishness.  "I want what I want and I want it now.  I don't care how it happens but get me what I want, NOW!".  Whether or not that comes by intimidation, anger,  outburst of anger, control, jealousy, disputes, gossiping, dissentions= all these things?  Deeds of the flesh.  Ways of coping with our problems and situations apart from God.  

Because if we were ALLOWING God to deal with these situations and circumstances then there wouldn't be any of the above deeds of the flesh.  In Him, there are no outbursts of anger, control, fear, intimidation- etc etc.  God doesn't deal that way.  

How do we know that?

Well, just read Galatians 5:22-23.  Read 1 Corinthians 13.  

If you REALLY want to lay aside the deeds of the flesh- and allow God to do a great work IN YOU then you will let HIMSELF and HIS WORDS transform the very depths of your being. 

Really, do you LIKE living in such chaos?  I didn't.  I HATED it.  I hated me.  I hated who I thought I was.  Then God.

He began to speak into me the truth of Himself and who He created me anew to be.  

I listened.   

Ladies, especially the older ladies in the church who have a tendency to become the "hateful gossipy old lady"- read the words of Scripture well.  YOU are to teach the younger women to, " be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good,  so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored."  Are you making it your ambition to lead a quiet life and giving grace to all who hear?  Because know this, we younger women- we HEAR you.  And the even younger women, hear US.  

Men, especially the older men of the church that tend to pass on your God-given responsibilities within the church to the- well, women of the church and younger men- also read Scripture and take heed.  Are you leading the younger men of the church in all manners of speech and deed? "temperate, dignified, sensible, sound in faith, in love, in perseverance- urge the young men to be sensible; in all things show yourself to be an example of good deeds, with purity in doctrine, dignified,  sound in speech which is beyond reproach, so that the opponent will be put to shame, having nothing bad to say about us."

Let us not fail the younger generation. Let us love one another.  Let us care tenderly for one another.  Even the ones we don't like. : )  Because, see, God can do a work IN US to love the unlovely.  Why is it we can "minister" to a stranger but not love our brother and sister in Christ?  God called us into unity.  He called us to be ONE IN HIM.  

John 17:21

that they may all be one; even as You, Father, are in Me and I in You, that they also may be in Us, so that the world may believe that You sent Me.

Tea

In January I wrote my list of things I would like to do in 2013. One was to run injury free. Besides dealing with a sciatic nerve in my right leg and low ferritin levels- every run was- painful and difficult. But, I don't want to use "modern" medicine if I don't have to. So, I researched and experimented with things that may help my whole system. This is what has helped:

1) YOGA!!!! Really stretches the whole body. I go one hour a week at the county library with friends. It's $2 and I LOVE IT!

2) Herbs and Weeds! LOL...true. I've been researching medicinal purposes of weeds- yep those pesky ones in the yard and herbs.

3) Vitamins! Seriously, you need to know your body well enough to KNOW what you need. I take- not every day- but a mixture of calcium, magnesium, D3, L-glutamine, potassium, folic acid.

4) Vinegar! Honestly, the health benefits of vinegar are astounding! I drink an ounce of unpasteurized vinegar mixed with an ounce of lemon juice and an ounce of honey in about 3-4 ounces of water- several mornings a week.

5) Water! Put the "pop" and sweet tea up. It's unhealthy. In many way. Ok, one a week may be OK. As a splurge.

6) Chunkies! Actually these are fruit smoothies but I like them chunky. I have several on my blog. I like them after a run to replenish.

7) Shoes! Seriously, get GOOD running shoes. I went on these last pair WAY too long and ended up with plantar fasciitis. NOT FUN!
 Walk! For heavens sake, just go for a walk. You use different muscles than when you run. Once a week, walk with friends!

9) Nick! A fun run through the woods with my beloved on Saturday mornings is great for my marriage!

10) Jesus! Last but certainly not least- He should be your Center. My fellowship with my Beloved Savior, Friend, and Life is the most important thing to me. He is the One that REALLY holds me together- spiritually, soulically AND physically.

I am running, for the most part, injury free. And I'm running better than I have in a long time. : ) Be PROACTIVE in your health, even if you aren't a runner. This is your body- take care of it. I have found out that as I take care of my physical body- in a good way- not an "overdoing" way- my soul and spirit have been nourished and replenished.

Below is a tea I make:

Boil-
dandelion root,
burdock root
licorice root
fresh lemon balm leaves
fresh catnip leaves
fresh spearmint and peppermint leaves
dried honeysuckle blossoms

Put in refrigerator to get cold. Drink a cup or two a day : )

Blessings to you all!

Being a woman....

I heard this today:

"A woman is most beautiful when she is being herself."

I really like that. When the outer man (woman) is living from the inner self. For me, that is when the inner self is living from- The Lord Jesus Christ- who gives her inner self- new life- His life.