A child of God- beloved, holy, righteous, blameless, healed, forgiven, brand new, sheep, salt, light, a branch, temple of God, reconciled, a saint, God's workmanship, hidden with Christ in God, an expression of the life of Christ because He is my life, a partaker, a living stone- crucified with Christ, I no longer live but Christ lives IN ME!
Monday, May 31, 2010
Flesh
This is what God spoke to me this morning, "Starla, for two weeks you have complained to Me and moped about all the things you don't have or do get to do. "You lust and do not have. You are envious and cannot obtain. You adulteresses, do you not know that friendship with the world is hostility toward God? Behold, the pay of the laborers who mowed YOUR fields, and which has been withheld by YOU, cries out against you; and the outcry of those who did the harvesting has reached the ears of the Lord of Sabaoth. You have lived luxuriously on the earth and led a life of wanton pleasure; you have fattened your hearts" and I still have children, your brothers and sisters in Me that are barely getting by. Who will I reward Starla? You, with your lust and envy or those who sacrifice to bring in the harvest?"
Friday, May 21, 2010
Dream, Dream, Dream
Have you ever had a day that you just wanted to RUN AWAY. We'll for some crazy reason today is that day for me. This whole week has been so...emotional. I'm not really emotional anymore(in the crazy, fleshly sense) but my old self wants to fight this week.
Ephesians 6:12
For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.
I've lost my temper and my peace this week. I've felt short with so many of my loved ones. I have reacted to their moods, in turn causing me to be in a bad mood. To be who I am not.
Do you know what sounds heavenly right now? Me alone all week long. I would like a week to be all by myself. If I'm gonna dream, I'm gonna dream big. I would like to be a week alone at the beach. I'd like to stay in a beach house, filled with good food, good books and some good music. I'd like to walk on the beach, read on the beach...by myself. Honestly, I wouldn't even care to talk to anyone for a week. No cellphone, no tv. Just Jesus and me.
Is that selfish? Probably. I just need quite time alone. Life is so hard sometimes. Being a mother is so hard sometimes. Being a wife is so hard sometimes. I love my husband and I love my kids. I feel like I have been a good wife and mother. But I want to be alone. Just for a week. Just for a brief time.
I don't want to live by a clock or with my days all rush here and there in a blur. I don't want to clean anyone's house for a week (even mine), or do anyone's laundry for a week, or cook anyone dinner. I want eat what I want when I want, if I want. I don't want take care of ANYONE or ANYTHING for one week.
Seems as if I've been DOING since I was 9 years old. After mom died, my sisters moved on with their lives and moved out...so it was up to Karen and I to take care of the house and laundry from then on. We were 8 & 9.
In March of 1988, I turned 18. In May of '88 I graduated high school and started working. In July of 1988, I got married. In January of 1990, I had my first child. I've have always taken care of someone or something. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my life. I truly am happy.
Sometimes, I just long for a break. Ah, I'm being silly. I adore Nick and the kids. I wouldn't even know what to do with myself if all I had to take care of was me for a week. Mothers just don't take care of themselves. They are the ones that do without the haircuts, the clothes, the dentist appointments....any type of pampering and we do without so our kids can have what they need. We make do and become resourceful.
I do have great pleasure in my life. Running. Mornings alone. Pineapples, walnuts and dark chocolate before bed. My wonderful bathroom! My MP3 player. BOOKS! Flowerbeds. Gardening. Friends. I have a wonderful life. I truly do. I am blessed to know Jesus in an intimate way, an inward grace.
But sometimes...I just want to...do nothing. Or feel like I don't have to do nothing.
Well, Amen.
Ephesians 6:12
For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.
I've lost my temper and my peace this week. I've felt short with so many of my loved ones. I have reacted to their moods, in turn causing me to be in a bad mood. To be who I am not.
Do you know what sounds heavenly right now? Me alone all week long. I would like a week to be all by myself. If I'm gonna dream, I'm gonna dream big. I would like to be a week alone at the beach. I'd like to stay in a beach house, filled with good food, good books and some good music. I'd like to walk on the beach, read on the beach...by myself. Honestly, I wouldn't even care to talk to anyone for a week. No cellphone, no tv. Just Jesus and me.
Is that selfish? Probably. I just need quite time alone. Life is so hard sometimes. Being a mother is so hard sometimes. Being a wife is so hard sometimes. I love my husband and I love my kids. I feel like I have been a good wife and mother. But I want to be alone. Just for a week. Just for a brief time.
I don't want to live by a clock or with my days all rush here and there in a blur. I don't want to clean anyone's house for a week (even mine), or do anyone's laundry for a week, or cook anyone dinner. I want eat what I want when I want, if I want. I don't want take care of ANYONE or ANYTHING for one week.
Seems as if I've been DOING since I was 9 years old. After mom died, my sisters moved on with their lives and moved out...so it was up to Karen and I to take care of the house and laundry from then on. We were 8 & 9.
In March of 1988, I turned 18. In May of '88 I graduated high school and started working. In July of 1988, I got married. In January of 1990, I had my first child. I've have always taken care of someone or something. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my life. I truly am happy.
Sometimes, I just long for a break. Ah, I'm being silly. I adore Nick and the kids. I wouldn't even know what to do with myself if all I had to take care of was me for a week. Mothers just don't take care of themselves. They are the ones that do without the haircuts, the clothes, the dentist appointments....any type of pampering and we do without so our kids can have what they need. We make do and become resourceful.
I do have great pleasure in my life. Running. Mornings alone. Pineapples, walnuts and dark chocolate before bed. My wonderful bathroom! My MP3 player. BOOKS! Flowerbeds. Gardening. Friends. I have a wonderful life. I truly do. I am blessed to know Jesus in an intimate way, an inward grace.
But sometimes...I just want to...do nothing. Or feel like I don't have to do nothing.
Well, Amen.
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