Ug! Ug! Ug!

Another 11.5 degree run this morning!!!!!!  UGGGGGG!!!!!!

Can't take much more of this...

Hurry up, February 15th, so I can get this over with!!!!

I am going to buy a stationary bike for days like this....

Snow day! And Vacation/Mission Trip BOOKED!

Snow day!

We had a bit of snow, which causes our roads to be horrendous!  Nor do they salt, but sand, the roads.  So, it was just Nick, Johnie and myself home today.

Dad called and we talked an hour!

I ran 4 miles to celebrate 4 years of running.

I cleaned up and reorganized and hung pictures from where we are working on the living room.

I have almost all of our taxes complete.  I am praying we don't have to pay but will break even.  I have two more forms to come in..then I'm finished!

But the BEST...we have our trip to Ireland and England booked!

We fly out on Sunday June 1st from Greenville/Spartanburg to Dublin.  From Dublin we rent a car to drive to the Willowbrook B&B to spend the next 5 days touring around.

Then on the 7th we will drive back to Dublin (hotel booked) to spend the night to fly to Birmingham, England on Ryan Air (booked) to meet our church mission team.

There will be working with a church plant to reach the community (estate).  Then we will fly home on Saturday June 14- through Dublin and Pittsburgh.

I am so excited!!!!!

Thank You, Lord for this opportunity!!!!

This is why...

I won't be running many marathons!

$135!

The hotel is $122!

Well, amen!  

This is costing us at least $10 a mile!

I tried so hard!

I wanted to be a "tan" girl but the green in me won out!  Will post pics of the living room when it dries!

Going to church.....

My paternal grandparents, John and Betha Cleary, were devout Christians. I went to church with them until my early teenage years. I didn't really know the God my grandparents knew although I went to church with them, and at 13 or so, I was more interested in my friends and the such. So, I just drifted out of going to church. God just wasn't "real" to me. 

In 1999, my kids babysitter invited my kids to church. Something inside of me just couldn't let my kids go to church without me. Let's be honest here, my Dad didn't go to church with me- and look where I was: 29, a mother of 3, and so many issues I seem to constantly be swallowed up inside of an emotional roller coaster. I had NO idea that my "issues" stemmed from the fact that I did not know this "God"- they were really "spiritual issues"- the lack of having a spirit alive to God. I was really spiritually dead, trying to fill the needs God created me with, with this world, instead of allowing Him to fill only what He can fill. In short, I was a mess. 

So, I went to this little church, that just loved on my kids. And they loved on me. I listened. Jesus began to speak into my heart. I bought a Bible and began to read it. In March of 2000 I knelt on my bedroom floor and said something like this, "Jesus, I don't really know You. I'm not even sure what I'm doing right now. All I know, is my heart is aching in me and I don't know what to do about it. Please forgive all my sin and come into my heart. Make me clean. I can't keep going on like this. I just know You are the only One that can do anything about this. I love You and thank You."

As the months started to pass and I kept going to the little church with my kids- I began to sense SOMETHING REALLY DID HAPPEN THAT MARCH MORNING! I was different. I have been on the greatest and best journey of my life since then, this journey in Jesus!!!!

Friends, your time is now, too. God is always standing ready to reveal Himself to you. That friend or babysitter or whomever invited you to go to church with them, GO. The best place, for me, in the beginning to get to KNOW, this God, Jesus- was in church. Being with those that spoke Truth into me through preaching, teaching, laughing, praying, fellowship, worship- many many ways. 

And I'm sure if you asked my Dad, he would say, "I'd give anything if I could go back again and take ALL MY GIRLS to church." Because if my Dad had took me to church- and REALLY KNEW JESUS, I wouldn't have waited so long to know Him and my kids would have known Him from the time they were conceived. My early years and their early years would have looked A LOT different. 

Don't live your life waiting until you are 66 (like my Dad) to really know and live in this Jesus. Real and true Life. Because the life you live without Him- it's isn't really life at all. It's empty filler until you die- and then what?

Ready or not.....

Well, it was COLD when I went out for my final LONG LONG run before the marathon.   Colder than the last LONG LONG run!  : )

So, I really had to bundle up.  Two socks (running socks and soccer socks, thanks to my son-in-law Ben!), jogging pants, running pants.  Two wicked long sleeve shirts, and a hoody.  Two pairs of gloves.  AND a scarf to cover my mouth.  I really need a face mask.  I also had a toboggan on and I needed two.

Sweat and cold and wind.  : (

I went out with no pace and no time.  Just run to finish.  I didn't stop my watch any either when I drank water or refilled my water or ate.  Or stretched.

But seriously, running long distances IS BORING!

Pain.  It just comes with it.  It wasn't as bad this time.  My right foot hurts worse when I am not running.  I think it's tendinitis.  My left foot was wrapped along with my left knee.  No major pain, nagging from time to time, but not major- so I am thankful! Two ibuprofen before and three after, which is mainly to head off inflammation.

And my watch was dying about mile 20.  I don't know if it will last a full marathon.  I will be GREATLY upset if it does not.  Too much money paid of it to not last more than a year~!

Before I ran this morning I got prepared.  My snack bag consisted off ritz bits with cheese and snickers and water.  NO mountain dew this time.  It nearly killed my stomach last time.  I don't drink sodas much so I was thinking the caffeine would help.  DUMB.  So just water this time, it's what I drink all the time anyway!

Afterward, I had my clothes set out for after my epsom/vinegar bath and coffee set for a hot drink!  Like I said, wind-cold-sweat NOT a good combo!

I am satisfied with my run.  It's done!  So goal accomplished!  

Now, I will start tapering down.  Next Saturday will be 15 miles.  The following 12 miles.  And three weeks from tomorrow is the marathon.

So, I guess I better register huh?  ; )

Heart Surgery!!!!!

Once upon a time I believed and would say, "My heart is so wicked and deceitful!" I was actually taught that my heart was wicked and deceitful, even as a believer! 

But when Jesus begin to speak Truth into me, this is what He said to me:

Ezekiel 11:19
And I will give them one heart, and put a new spirit within them. And I will take the heart of stone out of their flesh and give them a heart of flesh,

Ezekiel 36:26
Moreover, I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; and I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.

I live in the time that Jesus has said, "“It is finished!”

Romans 10: 9-10 9 that if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved; 10 for with the heart a person believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation.

Now, because of the Cross, Christ gave me a new heart and dwells in my NEW heart! Ephesians 3

Now, I can do the will of God from my new heart- Ephesians 6:6

Now, the peace of God (Jesus!) guards my heart! - Philippians 4:7

Now, my heart is encouraged in love and the wealth that come with full assurance and understanding "resulting in a true knowledge of God’s mystery, that is, Christ Himself, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge." Colossians 2:2-3

Now, the peace of Christ rules in my new heart and the word of Christ dwells richly in me. - Colossians 3:15-16

Now, the Lord directs my heart into the love of God and into the steadfastness of Christ. -2 Thessalonians 3:5

Now, I can refresh others hearts in Christ. - Philemon 1:20

Now, Christ is sanctified as Lord in my heart. - 1 Peter 3:15

So, if you are a believer- you no longer have that wicked and deceitful heart you were born with! Live from the Christ that has given you a new heart and where He lives in you!

Hope

"At first I wasn't sure. But yesterday I'm pretty certain I caught her glance as she was passing by. Noticing my eyes following her, she stopped and turned. We stared at each other, for nearly a minute. The she smiled, as if in on a story and series of events only she and I could fully appreciate. "Worry not, my friend. I'm not leaving. I'm circling back around for effect and a dramatic entrance. I"m here now. This current darkness is about to lift." I asked for her name. She said, "I wanted to be Joy. But it was already taken. My name is Hope." I voluntarily choked up as I barely got out these words: "I've missed you...more than you can know." She smiled again, kindly speaking directly in my eyes. "I doubt it...Now, cut the chitchat. I've got a dramatic entrance to make."

- John Lynch, On My Worst Day

You DON'T HAVE TO!!!!!

I'm going to be honest with you all. I do not have it all together. There are some days I let one word or one look or one circumstance to cause me to go in a "funk". My sunny mood turns blue and my emotions begin to roller coaster. I go from being angry with that person or circumstance to burying myself in condemnation (as the enemy of my soul, dumps more condemnation on me). 

"Nobody really loves me. Nobody really cares about me. Nobody really appreciates me. Nobody values me. I'm worthless. Who would love me? Who would really care about me?" 

Every time I go in a "funk"- that's where I let my mind race toward. Those are the core lies I believe about myself and others.

Then I would go, "God, why would you give this whacked out person these three great kids who I'm going to mess up? Why would you give me such a man like Nick? There are so many better moms and wives."

My core lies I believe about God are these: God is not really good and He created me worthless and of no value to Him or anyone else. 

I didn't really believe God is Who He says is and I am who He says I am. 

But today, when that one word or one look or one circumstance presents itself- and it WILL because God doesn't want me to live with a false concept of Who He is- He will, for the rest of my life, allow these things so the lie can exposed and TRUTH lived from!- it may take an hour or day or maybe a weekend but no longer the depth or the length or the width or height as before because this the truth:

God loves me. He is truly Good. He has come to heal my brokenness so that I may LIVE. I am no longer in condemnation, that's a lie from the enemy who wants to draw me away from my Jesus. (Romans 8:1) I have great worth and value, how much? Well, He gave His Son for me. I wouldn't give my son for anyone. Nobody has as much worth to me as my children. But to God, the Father, I do. 

God wants me and YOU to know how much He loves us. He wants us to REALLY know Him. He wants us to find our life and PEACE in Him. He wants us to believe Him, not be an unbelieving believer. That He is Who He says He is and He does what He says He will do and I am who I am because He has created me anew- in Him! 

And He wants you to know this:

Ephesians 3
14 For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, 15 from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name, 16 that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, 18 may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, 19 and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God.

You don't HAVE to live in that roller coaster. You don't HAVE to let a word or a look or a circumstance to send you in a spiral of shame, condemnation, fear, anger- whatever it may be. How freeing is that? 

YOU DON'T HAVE TO!

I'll stay in His love...or I'd perish

"I'm holding the bread, taking communion this morning. I voluntarily asked myself, "Could I leave this? Could I do without this God, this faith, this life, all that has come to my soul with Jesus?" I'm asking the horribly scary question I might usually avoid, but now desperately needed to know my answer. Quickly, this came back, "Without Jesus, I can't make sense of anything. Forget heaven for a moment. Nothing today could hold my interest that long, nothing could push back the absurdity and stop the emptiness if he is not real and near. Thirty years ago, there were so many other things I could have devoted myself to and fought valiantly for. I now have a life beyond anything I ever imagined. But without Jesus, none of it would hold me. He is the only meaning giving value to every other relationship, and why I'd dare to get out of bed and face the horrible things I know may come to me.
So I take the bread and then the cup. I not only have nowhere else to go. I cannot face the rest of this day without his love, his life, his intimate knowledge of me, his risking to carry my name and give me his. I'll stay in his love....or I'd perish. Besides, he paid too much. It's not up for grabs."

- John Lynch, On My Worst Day

Cultivating Intimacy with Jesus

cul·ti·vat·edcul·ti·vat·ing

1

:  to prepare or prepare and use for the raising of crops; also:  to loosen or break up the soil about (growing plants)

2

a :  to foster the growth of <cultivate vegetables>

b :  culture 2a

c :  to improve by labor, care, or study :  refine <cultivatethe mind>

3

:  further, encourage <cultivate the arts>

4

:  to seek the society of :  make friends with

     When Nick and I started dating, I loved getting to know him.  My whole life revolved around getting to know Nick Ellison.  By the time we got married I thought I knew everything about him!  Yet, here were are 25+ years and I'm still getting to know him.  I grow more and more in love and intimacy with him, every day.  Do we argue?  Do we disagree?  Do I get on his nerves from time to time?  YES!!!!  But I know one thing, Nick Ellison loves me fully and completely and unconditionally.  Nobody has ever loved me like he does.  I am confident of this.  Do you have any idea what that does to a woman to KNOW she is loved?  WOW!

     But this intimacy we have, it takes work on both our part.  I love the word "cultivate".  To prepare, to prepare and use for the raising of, to loosen or break up soil, to foster growth, to improve by labor, care or study, to further, encourage, to make friends with.  It took time and years and love and hate and ups and downs and fears and failure and joy and sorrow.  It took giving and taking.  It took laughter and tears.  It took "I'm sorry" and "I forgive you."  It still does.  It took getting into bed together, holding through the night and getting up together.  Day after day.  Night after night.  Year after year.  

     This is called- intimacy.  Being real and bare.  Stripped of all facade.  With the one you love the most and expecting the same in return.  

     In 2000 Someone came into my life that desired intimacy with me- with the deepest and most real part of me.  He began a process of me getting to know Him- and Him getting to know me, transforming me to be more like Him.  

     I'm a journaler.  Is that even a word?  I journal.  I have for years.  I just HAVE to get my thoughts out before they burst out.  I'm not cultured about it, I don't have all the grammar down, and I don't care.  I write like I talk.  It's just me.  But I love going back and reading my thoughts and prayers.  I love seeing how Jesus- became everything to me and cultivated this beautiful intimacy with me.  

     It takes time and years and love and hate and ups and downs and fears and failures and joy and sorrow.  It takes giving and taking.  It takes laughter and tears.  It takes me saying, "I'm sorry" and He saying, "I forgive you." It takes Him being the Center of my life, my marriage, my children, my home, my family, my emotions, my hopes, my dreams, my wants, my needs, my will, my mind, my consciousness, my desires, my EVERYTHING.  

     Year after year.  Day after day.  Night after night.  Moment by Moment.  Filling my life with Him.  Jesus.  Jesus.  Jesus.

     And you know what I KNOW because of this intimacy I have with Him?  God loves me.  Fully and completely and unconditionally.  He loves me with a love that is indescribable and true.  I am confident of this.  Do you have any idea what it means to this child of God to KNOW that her Father loves her with an everlasting love? WOW!

     Take the time to cultivate this intimacy with Him.  This is the real meaning and purpose of life.  To know Him, intimately.  

     

Offended!

A few years ago I heard Michael Wells talk about "being offended".  As believers we are to have been "so offended that we cannot be offended".  I thought then, to myself, "I do not want to live a life always being offended by others."

Yet this society we live in, thinks and promotes that we should NEVER be offended.  But the fact is, we will be.  So how do we deal with being offended?  Simply, to learn not to be offended.

I am reading a great little book entitled, "God's Favorite Place on Earth" by Frank Viola.  I will tell you now, I am VERY selective in what books I buy and read now.  No more "Christian Self Help" books for me.  I don't want people telling me how to be a better Christian, how to pray, how to forgive, how to live, how to get more of Jesus- etc etc etc blah blah blah- I just want to read a book that Jesus speaks to my heart through.

I want to share with you an excerpt from the above book from the section entitled-

"BLESSED ARE THE UNOFFENDED"

So, if you are like me- and you are sick and tired of being so easily offended then this is for you:

Elbert Hubbard- "To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing."

T. Austin Sparks- "If you get upset, offended, and go off and sulk, and nurse your grievance, you will die."

Eight things I've learned about being offended by others by Frank Viola:

1) Christians will hurt your feelings
      Because of the fall, this will happen.  Sometimes it's with malicious intent, sometimes without realizing it and sometimes it's fleshly judgment.

2) When others hurt you, your spiritual maturity will be revealed
     You will discover how real your relationship with Jesus Christ is when your feelings get hurt.  You can be the greatest speaker, the greatest worshipper, or the greatest evangelist but when your feelings get hurt, what you do at that moment and AFTERWARD will reveal the reality of your relationship with Jesus.
     People have one of two reactions when their feelings get hurt: they deal with it before the Lord, or they destroy others.

3) God intends to use mistreatments for our good
     To paraphrase Romans 8:28, EVERYTHING that comes into our lives, whether good or evil, first passed through the hands of a sovereign, loving God before it got to us and He uses it for our good.
     Once you make peace with God's sovereignty and His ability to write straight with crooked lines, the more at peace you will be with those who mistreat you.  While God is NOT the author of confusion or evil, He seeks to use all things for our transformation.

4) Christians often get offended by reading into words and actions
     This usually happens when a person is oversensitive and thin-skinned.  In my experience, this makes up most cases in which a Christian takes offense at another believer.  As a group, Christians are the most easily offended people in the world when we should be the least.

5) Christians often get offended with a person when they believe false accusations against them
     Wise and discerning Christians who have been around the block ignore gossip that puts other believers in a bad light.  In fact, in the eyes of a wise and discerning believer, ANY statement that has a defamatory tone is discredited out of the gate.
     When wise and discerning believers are concerned about someone they go straight to the person privately as Jesus taught us to do, asking questions rather than making allegations.
     Some Christians however, never think to do this, instead they make slanderous allegations about a sister or brother without ever going to that person first.
     The question, "How would I want to be treated if someone were to saying these things about me?" never seems to occur to them.  The life of Jesus Christ always leads us to LIVE that question.  The flesh always leads us in the opposite direction.
     Remember, Satan is the slanderer (that's what "Devil" means), and he uses gossip to destroy relationships.  That's why the Bible says that believing gossip separates close friends and that one of the seven things the Lord hates is "sowing seeds of discord among brethren."

6)  What you do with hurt is a choice you make
     You can choose to be offended and make a friend out of your hurt, feed it and take it out for daily walks, cuddle it, and protect it until it destroys you and others.  A root of bitterness, if allowed to live, will defile many and prove destructive to your spirit.
     You can choose to be offended and retaliate actively or passively.
     Or you can choose to live by Christ and bring your hurt to God.  Sometimes He will lead you to go to the person and talk to them in a gracious manner, seeking reconciliation.
     Other times He will lead you to forbear it, take it to the cross, let it go and move on.  "A man's wisdom gives him patience, it is to his glory to overlook and offense."
     Sometimes He will show you that you've completely misinterpreted the actions of another.
   
7) To be offended by a child of God is to be offended by God
     When you choose to take offense at another Christian, you are rejecting who they are in Christ.  Thus it affects your relationship with Jesus, whether you realize it or not.  Why? Because Christ and His body are connected, so "if you've done it to the least of these my brethren, you've done it to Me."

8) You can live free from offense
     This doesn't mean you will never be hurt.  Nor does it mean you will never be angry.  Jesus got angry.  Paul said, "Be angry and sin not.  Don't let the sun go down on your wrath."
     Anger is a normal human emotion when someone abuses you or abuses someone you care about.  But what YOU DO WITH your anger determines whether or not it is sin.
     In addition, we should always be "quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry."  The Lord has called us to the HIGH ROAD of living without offense.  And He has given us both the power and the will do His good pleasure in this area.

Some things Christians make a god out of that compete with Jesus Christ:

Some things Christians make a god out of that compete with Jesus Christ:

1) Service for God
     There are few things that are as close to God's heart as helping the dispossessed and oppressed.  Read your Old Testament.  It's spilling over with God's concern for their plight.  Jesus Himself was a poor man all His life.  The poor were His representatives, not His rivals.  But as important as caring for the poor is, Jesus Christ Himself is more important.  He is more valuable than any ministry no matter how good or noble.  It is possible to worship the god of "ministry" in place of Christ.  Some make "Christian service" a god that competes with Jesus Christ.  On that score, Henri Nouwen said that the main obstacle to love for God is service for God.

2) Theology
     Theology is another competitor.  It is possible to make theology a god, and love theology, more than we love God.

3) Worship
     Believe it or not it is possible to love the act of singing worship and praise songs to the Lord more than we love the Lord Himself.

4) Apologetics
     It is possible to love arguing on behalf of God more than loving God Himself.

5) Evangelizing for God

6) Preaching about God

7)Writing about God

8) Studying God
     It is possible to love studying and analyzing the Bible more than loving Jesus Himself.

All these things are good, of course.  But if they don't lead us to the real person of Christ, they can become idols.

Paul's great prayer in Ephesians is that God would grant us, "the spirit and wisdom of revelation in the knowledge of Him."

Expose yourself to such ministries that know how to preach Christ in such glory that you're awed by His greatness and you're drawn to worship Him.  Our alabaster boxes willingly yield at the sight of His peerless worth.

A friend of mine once said, "The moment He set me free is the moment He captured me."

- from God's Favorite Place on Earth by Frank Viola
   

Happy 24th Birthday, Baby Girl!

24 years ago YESTERDAY I woke up on a bright Tuesday morning- in my sister, Karen's waterbed, with a tightening in my stomach.  Nick had to work nights so we thought it best if I stayed at my Dad's in case I went into labor.

Nick picked me up on his way home from work, we went home to our little trailor on Mudhole Ridge and he went to sleep.  My cousin Rhonda came over and we went to Liberty, shopping, hoping the tightening that occurred every hour on the hour would turn into labor.

Later in the day, Nick and I ate leftover meatloaf and potatoes for supper.

At 5pm, I called the nurse and told her I was having contractions every hour.  She told me, "Well, this is your first baby and your due date isn't until tomorrow so you probably aren't in labor.  But come in anyway."

So, off we go to Somerset hospital.

On Wednesday January 10, 1990 at 6:25am Allison Nichelle Ellison (named after a teddy bear Nick gave me in high school that we named a girls name because it rhymed with his last name, I sit her now looking at that teddy bear with one blue eye (faded from staying in his car window) and one brown eye- and her middle name comes from her Daddy) made her grand entrance into this world.  Her Daddy was the first person to hold her.  By the time she was born all our family had gone home, so it was just us- alone.  We were wheeled to a little room with a bright warming light and as I laid there shivering uncontrollably I couldn't believe how beautiful this baby was- and I had NO IDEA how beautiful she really really was going to be INSIDE and OUT.

I am so proud of her.  I can't even describe the beauty of her.  I can't believe 24 years have passed.  From seeing her "stretch little Allison" to a 2nd grade teacher "you do an amazing job and these kids love you" from a parent.

But her true beauty comes from Jesus.  She wouldn't be the person she is today without Him.  When Allison was 10 Jesus made His grand entrance into all of our lives- this family which had grown to 5.  He took us and changed us- and continues to do so.  We are a family in whom in Christ we live, move and exist.

Now, our little family is a family of 6.  God brought a husband to Allison that went way beyond my prayers for her.  Our Ben.  We love that boy just as much as if we had gave birth to him.  We are so thankful that he is absolutely devoted to our daughter- loves her extravagantly but again most of all, he loves Jesus.  Christ is the center of their little family.

So, Al, happy birthday to our baby girl.  Alibeebopndeetndop!  Moptop!  Bop! Allishell!

Your Mama and Daddy sure love you!

A Better Run!

Today's long run, 21.2, was much better than my last long run on December 20th, 19.1.

I was wore completely out my last long run. Tired. Not enough rest or water. I was tired from the first foot fall. And I was dealing with left leg pain, which turned out to be IT Band. 

This time I was better rested, better nourished and been working with my left leg. Yoga, stretching and rubbing the IT Band. 

A much better run!

Living the easy life?

Don't see out for a cheap, easy gospel. Such is not the gospel of Jesus Christ. Remember that He demands everything, and He promised suffering and tribulation along with blessing and eternal life. He told us what we were getting into and exhorted us to count the cost ahead of time.- Frank Viola, God's Favorite Place on Earth