Offended!

A few years ago I heard Michael Wells talk about "being offended".  As believers we are to have been "so offended that we cannot be offended".  I thought then, to myself, "I do not want to live a life always being offended by others."

Yet this society we live in, thinks and promotes that we should NEVER be offended.  But the fact is, we will be.  So how do we deal with being offended?  Simply, to learn not to be offended.

I am reading a great little book entitled, "God's Favorite Place on Earth" by Frank Viola.  I will tell you now, I am VERY selective in what books I buy and read now.  No more "Christian Self Help" books for me.  I don't want people telling me how to be a better Christian, how to pray, how to forgive, how to live, how to get more of Jesus- etc etc etc blah blah blah- I just want to read a book that Jesus speaks to my heart through.

I want to share with you an excerpt from the above book from the section entitled-

"BLESSED ARE THE UNOFFENDED"

So, if you are like me- and you are sick and tired of being so easily offended then this is for you:

Elbert Hubbard- "To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing."

T. Austin Sparks- "If you get upset, offended, and go off and sulk, and nurse your grievance, you will die."

Eight things I've learned about being offended by others by Frank Viola:

1) Christians will hurt your feelings
      Because of the fall, this will happen.  Sometimes it's with malicious intent, sometimes without realizing it and sometimes it's fleshly judgment.

2) When others hurt you, your spiritual maturity will be revealed
     You will discover how real your relationship with Jesus Christ is when your feelings get hurt.  You can be the greatest speaker, the greatest worshipper, or the greatest evangelist but when your feelings get hurt, what you do at that moment and AFTERWARD will reveal the reality of your relationship with Jesus.
     People have one of two reactions when their feelings get hurt: they deal with it before the Lord, or they destroy others.

3) God intends to use mistreatments for our good
     To paraphrase Romans 8:28, EVERYTHING that comes into our lives, whether good or evil, first passed through the hands of a sovereign, loving God before it got to us and He uses it for our good.
     Once you make peace with God's sovereignty and His ability to write straight with crooked lines, the more at peace you will be with those who mistreat you.  While God is NOT the author of confusion or evil, He seeks to use all things for our transformation.

4) Christians often get offended by reading into words and actions
     This usually happens when a person is oversensitive and thin-skinned.  In my experience, this makes up most cases in which a Christian takes offense at another believer.  As a group, Christians are the most easily offended people in the world when we should be the least.

5) Christians often get offended with a person when they believe false accusations against them
     Wise and discerning Christians who have been around the block ignore gossip that puts other believers in a bad light.  In fact, in the eyes of a wise and discerning believer, ANY statement that has a defamatory tone is discredited out of the gate.
     When wise and discerning believers are concerned about someone they go straight to the person privately as Jesus taught us to do, asking questions rather than making allegations.
     Some Christians however, never think to do this, instead they make slanderous allegations about a sister or brother without ever going to that person first.
     The question, "How would I want to be treated if someone were to saying these things about me?" never seems to occur to them.  The life of Jesus Christ always leads us to LIVE that question.  The flesh always leads us in the opposite direction.
     Remember, Satan is the slanderer (that's what "Devil" means), and he uses gossip to destroy relationships.  That's why the Bible says that believing gossip separates close friends and that one of the seven things the Lord hates is "sowing seeds of discord among brethren."

6)  What you do with hurt is a choice you make
     You can choose to be offended and make a friend out of your hurt, feed it and take it out for daily walks, cuddle it, and protect it until it destroys you and others.  A root of bitterness, if allowed to live, will defile many and prove destructive to your spirit.
     You can choose to be offended and retaliate actively or passively.
     Or you can choose to live by Christ and bring your hurt to God.  Sometimes He will lead you to go to the person and talk to them in a gracious manner, seeking reconciliation.
     Other times He will lead you to forbear it, take it to the cross, let it go and move on.  "A man's wisdom gives him patience, it is to his glory to overlook and offense."
     Sometimes He will show you that you've completely misinterpreted the actions of another.
   
7) To be offended by a child of God is to be offended by God
     When you choose to take offense at another Christian, you are rejecting who they are in Christ.  Thus it affects your relationship with Jesus, whether you realize it or not.  Why? Because Christ and His body are connected, so "if you've done it to the least of these my brethren, you've done it to Me."

8) You can live free from offense
     This doesn't mean you will never be hurt.  Nor does it mean you will never be angry.  Jesus got angry.  Paul said, "Be angry and sin not.  Don't let the sun go down on your wrath."
     Anger is a normal human emotion when someone abuses you or abuses someone you care about.  But what YOU DO WITH your anger determines whether or not it is sin.
     In addition, we should always be "quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry."  The Lord has called us to the HIGH ROAD of living without offense.  And He has given us both the power and the will do His good pleasure in this area.