Born Anew

Do you ever wake up about 3:30am and can't go back to full sleep? It's kind of like 3/4 sleep but in that God puts someone on your mind?

That's what happened to me last night (well technically a few hours ago). It's not someone I really know. I've never talked to this person. I know this person has made some bad decisions in the past- and it affected a lot of people.

But someone in their life offered forgiveness- again, and again, and again.

I was thinking to myself...and yet praying, "God, has this person really changed? So much hurt has been brought by their actions. Do people really change?"

And so clearly God spoke to me, "You did. Have you forgotten what I did for you, and IN you, 18 years ago?"

I guess when you've been a believer so long...maybe we forget that God still is the God of redemption and salvation. For the last 10 years I have taught about the healing, freedom and victory that Jesus accomplished for us through His death, burial, resurrection and ascension. I speak to the believer, the one ALREADY saved- but maybe just doesn't know what this great God of ours, the Lord Jesus Christ, has saved us from!

This morning Jesus reminded me just how FAR He has brought me from. Literally from death to life. For you see, as God reminded me this morning, I, too, was the worst of sinners.

This is a trustworthy saying, worthy of full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am (Greek: am, have been, it is I, was) the worst. But for this very reason I was shown mercy, so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display His perfect patience, as an example to those who would believe in Him for eternal life. - Paul, in a letter to Timothy

To be honest, I do NOT feel like that person I was before. She seems so foreign, so strange to me. Truly, a different person. I think back to her and think, "Really? That was me?"

Yes, and no. It was. But no, it's not now. I was born again, literally "from above". For about 8 years after I was SAVED, I still struggled with the things old Starla struggled with. Oh boy, the struggle was real. Yes, there was fight in me. A soulical fight. A spiritual fight. My mind, will and emotions wanted to be comfortable and live the "old way". But my new spirit in which God, Himself, dwells- says, "No way, old way!" And I had to come to end of my self- and to Jesus.

That's when the change began. That's when I began to really FEEL and KNOW this new creation me. This new innerman Starla whose Source of Life is God.

This morning, God reminded me anew- He is the Source of change. He is. Not just in my mind, my actions but literally, ALL OF ME. Body, soul and spirit. He is the Great Exchange- 2 Corinthians 5:21. Like my Grandpa wrote in his Bible, "He became what we were so we could become what He is."

Oh how I pray for the person God brought to my mind this morning. Oh how I pray they too can look back in 18 years and say, "Really? That was me?" To SEE what God really does do. Key word: WAS.

Jesus came to save SINNERS. Those separated from God by sin. That is EVERYONE born, because we are all born sinners (Romans 5). But because of His great mercy, He makes fully evident, undeniable- His PERFECT, WHOLE PATIENCE- as an example (Oh I am His example!) for those that BELIEVE IN HIM! Oh what Grace! He saved me! From sin, death, satan, the world and temptation! He still does! Ever active and present in all of my life.

I am no longer a sinner. My core identity has been changed! I am new, clean, whole, righteous, holy, a saint, free- a child of God!

But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God.- John 1:12-13

Oh Father, thank You! Thank You for reminding me this morning of who I used to be- a sinner, a separated from You. But through Jesus- yes, beloved Jesus, I am can now call you Father! Abba! John 14:6. Thank You for reminding me what YOU have done not just IN my life but literally WITH my life. You made me new and gave me YOUR Life, Colossians 3:4. Jesus. I am now the temple of the Holy Spirit, my Counselor and Comforter. What great Mercy, Love, Patience and Grace! Thank You!

Contentment

I tell you.  Living in a "first world" country spoils you.  We have everything at our disposal.  Everything.  We live in super fine comfortable houses.  We drive super fine comfortable cars.  We take super fine comfortable vacations.  We eat rich, unhealthy food.  We pay enormous bills for tv, cellphone, internet- and then complain about the electric or water bill.  We loved to be constantly entertained.  Our kids have no idea what it means to play outside all day with friends, come home to a meal on the table, bathtime and bed.  We have LOADS of food in our refrigerators and pantry's yet we can't find anything to eat so we "go out" to eat.  We get bored easily.  We are tired.  We are anxious.  We are overwhelmed. We live in a driven society.  More more more. 

And we are so entitled= believing oneself to be inherently deserving of privileges or special treatment.

I've been thinking- again, about "being content".  What does that mean?  Does it mean that if everything goes my way, I get everything I want then I will be happy? 

Not according to the Scriptures. 

Paul, beloved Paul- beaten, stoned, whipped Paul- wrote to the church at Philippi: Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. (Philippians 4:11-12)

Paul then wrote to Timothy: If we have food and covering, with these we shall be content.  For we have brought nothing into the world, so we cannot take anything out of it either.

The writer to the Hebrews wrote: Make sure that your character is free from the love of money, being content with what you have; for He Himself has said, “I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you,”  so that we confidently say,“The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid. What will man do to me?”

I love what Paul also wrote to the church at Philippi:  And God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.

A beloved Proverb:

Two things I asked of You,
Do not refuse me before I die:
8 Keep deception and lies far from me,
Give me neither poverty nor riches;
Feed me with the food that is my portion,
9 That I not be full and deny You and say, “Who is the Lord?”
Or that I not be in want and steal,
And profane the name of my God.

So what does all this mean?  Let's look at the word "content" in Helps Word Study.

842 autárkēs  self-sufficient, content in the sense of being satisfied because living in God's content (fulness). This inward sufficiency is as valid in "low times" (suffering) as in "high times" (temporal prosperity).

("sufficiency within") occurs only in Phil 4:11 where it refers to positive self-sufficiency (inward adequacy) – i.e. that comes through the indwelling power of Christ.

[842 (autárkēs) comes from autos ("self") and arkein ("sufficient") meaning "self"-sufficiency, which is entirely God-produced.]

To be content is to be satisfied in God's provision.  A positive, inward sufficiency that comes from Christ within, coming from Him.  It comes from trusting, believing- KNOWING that HE is the One that will supply all our needs.  

Why do we need so much?  The more we have the harder we have to work to take care of it.  And if that's so then what (or who) is being left out?  Because I don't know about you but I am not super woman.  I finally came to the point that I couldn't do it all and be the person God created me to be.  I had to come to a choice.  Believing and trusting God for His plan in my life or trying to fill up my self and my life with the things of this "temporal" world.  

 Peacefilled/ful, Joyfilled/ful, Overwhelmed and consumed by Grace= Content.  

And Paul, really meant and knew with all his heart the truth of the words He wrote to Timothy:

But godliness (God-centered) actually is a means of great gain when accompanied by contentment.- 1 Timothy 6:6

You want "great gain"?  You want more and more?

Hebrews 12:1-3

...lay aside....fixing your eyes on Jesus...so you will not grow weary and lose heart.  

Jesus is the More.  Jesus is the Great Gain.  

Serving and Ministering

Last night our youth gave a mission report about their week in Albany,NY.  

I was reminded again- how blessed I am with my children.  As parents we often see their faults- even when they are adults.  But I am learning more and more to see my children as the people (adults) God created them uniquely to be.  

Allison, Ben and Johnie are all youth "workers".  Ben is the youth pastor, Allison nurtures all the youth, and Johnie- his life is so interwoven in the youth that it would be strange if he wasn't a part of it.  He was 11 when he joined the youth group at BBC and went from a boy to a man- and now it's going on 13 years since he's been involved.  As a matter of fact, when he joined the youth some of the youth that are in there now wasn't even born!  

What I find as wonderful and so thankful for- is that all my kids Allison, Ben, Cody and Johnie are in some way involved- serving and ministering- at our church or our community.  Cody, although not actively involved in youth ministry, coaches a homeschool cross country team- and several of them on the team are members of our church youth group.  So- they all kind of work- serve and minister- together.

Thank You, dear Lord.  Thank You.  

10 years

10 years ago August 4, 2007-

The Lord brought me up out of the pit of destruction, out of the miry clay, and He set my feet upon a rock making my footsteps firm. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God; Psalm 40:2-3

10 years ago God lifted me out of the pit of "depression", anger and control. I had been in that pit for as long as I could remember and it encompassed every bit of my life- inside and out.

10 years ago I stopped depending on my "happy pill" and God began to work in me that He wanted to heal me of the reasons I took the "happy pill". He wanted to expose the root issues, causes and lies I believed of why I wanted to numb my emotions and not deal with my emotions or be overcome by them- and learn to have healthy emotions and live from truth.

"Your feelings/emotions are real but they are not always truthful."

I am so thankful for this process that God had begun in me. Not only did I begin healing...but my little family did too. I don't want my children to carry on the legacy of "depression", anger, and unhealthy control issues. I thank God every day....that He brought us up out of the pit of destruction my family was in...and set our feet on a rock!

He surely put a new song in my mouth! I praise Him for revelation and healing!

My Grace IS Sufficient for you!

I guess you could say the last decade of my life has been the best.

And it had nothing to do with the circumstances of my life.

It all has to do with the words Jesus spoke to Paul, "My grace IS sufficient for you."

Grace. I still can't define it. I've tried. I've not found any earthly words rich in depth to express grace. Well- one. Jesus. Jesus IS Grace.

In this decade I still feel like I've only stepped a foot in the ocean of grace when I want to be so fully immersed, experiencing of Grace, Himself.

From Streams in the Desert:

"Lord, make Your grace sufficient for me."

His answer was almost an audible voice that said, "How dare you ask for something that IS? I cannot make My grace any more sufficient that I already have. Get up and believe it, and you will find it true in your life."

The Lord says in the most simplest way: "My grace IS [not will be or may be] sufficient for you." The words "My", "is" and "you" were from that moment on indelibly written upon my heart. And thankfully, I have been trying to live in the reality of that truth from that day to the present.

Never change God's facts into hopes or prayers but simply accept them as realities and you will find them as powerful as you believe them.- H.W. Webb Peploe

Get Out of That Pit August 4 2007

Starla Ellison

August 4, 2012 · Spartanburg, SC · 

August 4, 2007! 5 years ago today I picked up a book a friend had given me a couple of months before entitled, "Get Out of That Pit" by Beth Moore. I thought, "Well, I'm in a pit- might as well read it."

So, coffee and book in hand I went to the pool deck to read some of it. I read the whole book that day. I couldn't put it down. God spoke so clearly to me. It was time to get out of the pit of depression, anger, fear and control.

I sit here 5 years later- just finished reading my journal from those days. WOW God! Thank YOU!

God revealed to me that IT WAS TIME. Depression had engulfed me. I couldn't function without antidepressants. They numbed my racing mind. My emotions were never on an even keel. They were erratic, great highs and lows. Thoughts would swirl constantly. I told Nick that my mind felt those poor mice that constantly spinned on their little wheel.

I hated living that way. I hated never feeling calm, at peace. I hated being angry. I hated feeling like I had to have control over every situation. I hated being so very very fearful of everything. I hated my self. I hated my life. I hated my past. I hated my present.

BUT GOD.

But God was at work around me. Through our youth pastor at the time, God was doing a great work in his life- and he began to teach what God was doing in him.

And God was at work IN me. Through others teaching the Truth of Who God is- speaking the Truth of Him to me. Reading "Get out of that Pit", was just another way of God telling me it was time to lay Starla (past Starla, present Starla and future Starla) aside and fix my whole self on HIM.

Within one month- I was off all antidepressants! Why? Because God has orchestrated it that the BRAND NAME antidepressants was the only kind I could take. My insurance would not pay for BRAND NAME only the GENERIC. I was allergic to the generic. So, there was God saying- "No more dulling your emotions Starla- I am going to heal you."

And He did!!!!!
He did!

5 years ago God pulled me out of the pit of depression! And has revealed Himself to me in such a way that I don't NEED a pill to control my emotions. I need Jesus. He is Sufficient.

What a journey I have been on since! Oh, the things He has spoke into me. Stripping away layers and healing me.

Thank You, my Jesus-my Healer!