Endings and Beginings

So here we are, the end of another year. To some this has been a super great year. To some your life was completely turned inside out and upside down. To some it was another year in the books- not bad but not exceptional.

No matter the year you have had- can you see Jesus in the year? Can you feel and see Him in your daily life? Can you feel Him holding you close to Him? Oh that dear Good Shepherd of ours. Always near. Always drawn to us. He knows where we are and He is right with us.

I always sit down and read through my journal through the year. And then I write down my prayers and hopes for the next year. Usually I ask God to reveal to me what I can pray for the following year. In 2016 it was "enjoy Me". So I did, I set aside a lot of things just to spend time with Jesus and enjoy Him. In 2017 He told me to "enjoy others." I had no idea what He had in store but Patricia and I taught 4 Growing in Grace life-changing studies. I enjoyed fellowship with 50-60 women in the course of the year through those studies.

It is now that I begin to ask Him about 2018. I had originally thought I would take the year off teaching and focus on discipleship counseling. But God had other plans. I was honored when our associate pastor/Sunday school teacher, Joe, asked Rod and me to teach with him throughout the year through the book of Acts. Goodness. That is quite a challenge for me. Joe and Rod are both excellent teachers and to be able to teach with them- I am so, nervous-thankful-etc. I look forward to the time of intimate study and fellowship with the Lord as I prepare.

Another friend unexpectedly asked me to read some of her material (gosh I can't wait to go into more detail!) and again I am so so so honored! I was reading through just the first session on my way here to Ky for Christmas and I can't wait to session two! You know how your heart just sings within you? You feel all bubbling inside like joy is going to burst right out of your bones? Yeah, that's how I feel! God is speaking. All we have to do is INVITE HIM IN ; )

One thing that does keeping popping up around me is "the Cross of Christ". How God allowed an instrument of torture and death- made from material He spoke into existence, wood from a tree- to not only take the life of His Son but excruciatingly wring out His Life and Blood- so that I won't have to suffer and die for/from my own sins. The cross of Christ was also a door into which I can enter life. I can't have true, eternal life until I pass through the door of Life, and I can only pass through the door of life by BEING IN the Door and the Life.

I am the door; if anyone enters through Me, he will be saved, and will go in and out and find pasture.- John 10:9

I am the resurrection and the life; he who believes in Me will live even if he dies, and everyone who lives and believes in Me will never die.- John 11:25-26

Jesus *said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me.- John 14:6

This is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent.- John 17:3

Romans 6

Galatians 2:20 I have been crucified with Christ, I no longer live but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body I live by the faith of the Son of God who loved me and gave Himself or me.

Isn't that amazing?

How about you? Have you taken the time to sit quietly with Him and asked Him to speak to you and prepare you for 2018? It will be a wonderful way to end this year and begin the next.

I pray you experience deep and abiding love and intimacy with our intimate, loving, abiding Father and His Son, Jesus Christ each and every day.

Home

No matter where we go- I am always the first one to get up. I love the quietness of wherever we happen to be. Make a cup of coffee and enjoy my surroundings.

This morning, a chilly 12 degrees, but the house is so warm- I don't even have socks on!- because of the outdoor wood furnace (stove) Barry and Karen have.

I look out on the same fields I woke up to as a child. Karen's house sits where our old house, which I grew up in, sit.

I love watching the sun rise. See the cows, hear the roosters. See what changes Barry has made to the farm. I love coming home. I love having my children (and now, their children) here with me. I love that because Karen and Barry bought our childhood farm all those years ago my kids have, in a sense, grew up where I grew up.

There's just something about continuity. We don't really see that a whole lot anymore. The same people living on the same place they grew up. I feel very blessed because my sister's family has done that and I get to share in that.

This place is always home to me. My family is home. Even though I live so far away (really, after 25 years 6 hours isn't THAT far!)- we've always tried to give the kids a sense that Kentucky is also HOME. I hope they always feel that pull that I do.

I feel like my roots settle so deep here. Yet, I do also in our little home we've lived in for almost 25 years in Pauline,SC.

But I know this...ultimately, this is NOT my home. Jesus is my true Home. And I hope and pray all in all that my family will all be together when we pass out of this time that is created to the next realm. What a time of rejoicing that will be! I won't have to say goodbye and travel a long road anymore!

You and I are the reason for the season!

During this time of year we see signs everywhere stating, "Jesus is the reason for the season." But the truth is YOU are the reason.  I am the reason.  

Jesus was born to die.  For you.  For me.  

In the Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve chose to eat from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, thereby disobeying the ONE thing God told them not to do.  He had warned them that if they did eat from that tree there would be consequences, "In that day you shall surely die."  They had a unique relationship with their Creator.  They had intimate fellowship with Him.  Each day He would walk with them in the garden He had placed them in.  They had been formed by His very hands from the dust of the earth.  His very breath had been breathed into man and he became a living soul.  He created them from His very image.  He was intimately acquainted with all of their ways.  

Can you imagine how delighted He must have been to watch these two He so deeply loved, created in His image, His very breath within them, formed by His own hands?  Watching them explore and tend to the garden and the animals.  Watching  them get to know each other.  Enjoying their company each day.  He was walking, talking, teaching, loving and tending to them.  

And yet, He knew what was coming.  God is always, all knowing.  He is also always all prepared.

"In that day, you shall surely die."  Genesis 2:7

The very first act of independence from their loving Creator was when Eve saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took from its fruit and ate; and she gave also to her husband with her, and he ate. Adam willingly chose his relationship with Eve over God's when he took that fruit from her.   (Genesis 3:6)

"Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked"- Genesis 3:7

Naked.  Before their disobedience they were naked and unshamed (Genesis 2:25) now they are so naked and ashamed they decided to go and sew fig leaves to cover their nakedness.  But the truth is nothing they could EVER do would cover their nakedness.  Nothing they could ever do would remove the shame.  They had disobeyed their loving Creator.  Now, there would be consequences.  That day.  

Their eyes were opened.  Can you imagine the feeling of loss inside of them?  Just moments before their spirits within them had been alive and joined to God's.  Now their spirit was dead and they were no longer intimately united with Him.  Separated.  Lost.  Empty.  Incomplete.  Deceived.  Independent.  Sinner!  Sinner!  Sinner!  Condemned!  Unholy!  Unrighteous!  

"Therefore, just as through one man sin entered into the world, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men, because all sinned" Romans 5:12

"for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" Romans 3:23

Through one act of disobedience- all separated from God.  
Through one act of obedience- all can be united to God, if we choose.- Romans 5

Jesus provided the act of obedience.  Death on the cross as payment for the penalty for sin.  God raised Him from the death.  Now, whoever believes in Him receives eternal life, His very life.  For we have much more than even Adam and Eve.  Adam and Eve were joined in their spirits to God before they sinned but He didn't live within them.  Throught Jesus death, burial, resurrection- He lives in us- Romans 6.  United!  Found!  Filled!  Complete!   Free!  Holy!  Righteous! 

You see- YOU are the reason He was born.  YOU are the reason He died.  YOU are the reason God rose Him from the dead.

YOU are the reason for the "season".  YOU are.  

Johnie, COLLEGE GRADUATION!

When I was growing up I so often heard "time flies".  When I was in my teens it couldn't go by fast enough, I was ready to move on in life.  Then at 18, just a couple of months after graduating high school- Nick and I married, he was 19.  

Then came jobs, and a little home.  Just before I turned 20, a beautiful baby girl filled our hearts and our arms.  Before she turned 3, her little brother made his grand appearance.  And time marched on.  The days were long.  Babies, work, housework, diapers, bottles, runny noses, temper tantrums- sloppy kisses, hugs, "Mommy I wuv you."  

Then came the big move.  325 miles from all of our family.  To a little farmhouse in Pauline. We just about didn't make it.  Homesick. Missed my Dad.  Missed home.  Then surprise!  Baby #3, a little boy, made the family complete.

We buckled down.  We gotta make this work.  Homesick or not.  
Learned the lesson- HOME is my husband.  Wherever he is, home is.  

Next thing you know- they are all three in school.  Lovely little school a mile down the road.  

Then Jesus said, "Starla, you are not complete or whole without Me."
I said, "Jesus, I need you.  Would you make me complete?"
The greatest journey of my life.  OUR life changed in one year, 2000.

A marvelous journey.  Wonderful church families.  Growing in grace.  A family who loves Jesus. 

A little girl who loved carrying all kinds of bags around outside bossing her little brothers around.  Barefoot, and sassy.  

A little boy who dressed like Batman and got stuck on words.

Another little boy who loved to laugh and ended up with all the cuts and bumps- who adored being Robin to his big brother's Batman.  

Listening over and over to the thump of that basketball and the whirl of the rim.  

Always always always in church.  Youth group, our whole families favorite time.
Connie and Beas, thank You, Jesus.    

Years and years- miles and miles traveling 325 miles to Rheber, Ky- then back to Pauline, SC.  Family, sleeping on floors,- and couches.  To our lovely little home filled with family, friends, youth, peace, Jesus, food.  

22.5 years of school.

And time flies.  3 kindergarten graduations.  3 elementary school graduations.  10th anniversary.  
3 middle school graduations.  15th anniversary.  
3 high school graduations.  20th anniversary. 
1st college graduation.  A marriage.  We gain a son-in-love.  25th anniversary.
2nd college graduation, boy that boy of ours makes us proud!  
A grandson joins the family!  Rejoice! 
And in just 7 months, our 30th anniversary.

But before that...

Baby #3, the surprise, graduates college. Where did time go?

Yes, that's right.  
Johnie graduates college. 

Our third and final college graduation at University of South Carolina Upstate.  Talk about time flying and a huge lump in your throat.  Tears wanting to spill over for the quickness of the years and the immense thankfulness of this celebration.  

Johnie, we are so proud of you.  You are loyal.  You are consistent.  You are dedicated.  You love your family.  You love your church family.  You love Jesus.  What a pleasure it has been to watch you grow and mature- in all ways.  

Happy Graduation Day!

Warning: Venting

I truly do not know how some believers use other believers for financial, material, sympathetic or social gain.  

Why do believers think it's ok to use other believers?  Where is the humility among the church?   Where is the being a giver, not a receiver, among the church?  Why do believers always expect for others to do for them- and yet not do anything for others?  Why do some believers expect to be served and not serve others? I see so many believers out there ministering to others, living humbly.  But I also see a lot of believers- and it's all about them- financially, materially, emotionally and physically.  They actually take from the body of believers and not really giving to them.  

I guess, when I go to the Scriptures, and see Jesus- this is what I see:

He emptied Himself.
He humbled Himself.
He surrendered Himself, even from self-protection.
He didn't defend Himself.
He was rejected.
He had NO possessions.
He was unloved.
He was misunderstood.
He was weakened physically.
He gave us His right to be right.
He was stripped.
He was shamed.
He thwarted a rescue attempt.

He is also the Good Shepherd.  He is also lovingkindness.  He is also gentle.  He loves children.  He never used anyone for personal gain.  He never manipulated anyone.  

He knew the things of this world has NOTHING on what is to come.  

A lot of people call Matthew 5-7 the sermon on the mount.  But as Michael Wells says it's so much more- it's life on the mount.  The way, we as believers- whom Christ lives within- lives.  

It's not about gaining more worldly stuff.  It's about allowing Christ, who is my Life, live through me.  Believers today are told that we are successful if we have more stuff and do more things.  Friends, that's a lie.  

It's not about gaining worldly treasures.  It's about gaining heavenly gifts.  Those are the things that we have in this world and the next.  We WILL take with us.  The heavenly gifts are not the ones we keep for ourselves but give to others.

Jesus is our indescribable gift!  And all good gifts come from Him.  Justification, grace, redemption, righteousness, salvation.  

The Holy Spirit is a gift and He distributes His gifts- spiritual gifts.   

These gifts are giving NOT FOR OURSELF but the building up and edification OF THE BODY OF CHRIST, the CHURCH.  

1 Corinthians 12
4 Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit. 5 And there are varieties of ministries, and the same Lord. 6 There are varieties of effects, but the same God who works all things in all persons. 7 But to each one is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good.8 For to one is given the word of wisdom through the Spirit, and to another the word of knowledge according to the same Spirit; 9 to another faith by the same Spirit, and to another gifts of healing by the one Spirit, 10 and to another the effecting of miracles, and to another prophecy, and to another the distinguishing of spirits, to another various kinds of tongues, and to another the interpretation of tongues. 11 But one and the same Spirit works all these things, distributing to each one individually just as He wills.

Believers, we only have a short time on this earth- be who God created you anew to be.  Don't live for this world.  Live from Him.  

Christmas, In Christ Alone

I'm sitting here writing in my journal just pouring my heart out to God.  Christmas is so hard.  So much planning.  Gifts, decorating, parties, church, food, giving- not to mention work and rearranging my work schedule for time off.  It's so so busy. Every day there is something I have to do.  I'm not one of those who "enjoy" Christmas.  It's so demanding.  By the time January gets here I am so thankful!  Relieved!  In need of rest!

Then 'In Christ Alone' comes on Pandora.  This is the time of year we celebrate Christ' birth.  Emmanuel, God with us.  Today Salvation has come.  The truth is we don't really know when Jesus was born.  Some think in September.  I tend to agree with that view.  

https://christiananswers.net/christmas/mythsaboutchristmas.html

It's just that nowadays Christmas isn't simple.  I have about 60 people on my Christmas list.  I feel so inadequate buying and giving gifts.  Even receiving them.  Because I know someone had to work hard, think, go shopping then wrap the gift.  When the truth is- I would just rather spend the evening with them eating and talking.  I'd rather have relationship than material things.  I DO appreciate that someone thinks enough of me to do that- and some are truly gift-givers and love to do so- but for those of us who are not- my goodness- it's tough on us.  And most of us already have everything we NEED or WANT- except spending time in fellowship with others.  I'm coming to understand how important that is in itself.  

In Christ Alone, Give Me Jesus, Where Your Love Ran Red

I feel busy and disconnected from You, Jesus.  My heart is crying out for intimacy.  

Am I ever going to enjoy the 'season'?  I've really tried to this year.  For the first time Nick and I went and got the tree on Wednesday.  We came home and put the lights on.  On Thursday the kids came to decorate- we had chili, pumpkin toffee poke cake and Lily brought peppermint bark!  For the first time BOTH boys had a girl here.  Johnie and Lily.  Cody and Morgan- and her daughter, Layla (2 in January.)  Allison, Ben and Roman.  Roman LOVED the fireplace!  He kept wanting to touch the fire.  That was a special night to me.  I'll post pics later.  : ) 

Jesus, calm this uneasiness in me.  Let me feel Your Presence.

I love You so much.  Thank You.  

Grief

E’en for the dead I will not bind my soul to grief;

Death cannot long divide.

For is it not as though the rose that climbed my garden wall

Has blossomed on the other side?

Death does hide,

But not divide;

You are but on Christ’s other side!

You are with Christ, and Christ with me;

In Christ united still are we.

Streams in the Desert, December 3

Give me Jesus

Wherever I go. Whatever I do. So thankful for You, Jesus. Healer. Restorer. Comforter. Only You can take what was broken and heal it. Only You can take what was dead and give it Life.

Thanksgiving 2017

I am sitting here, in a lovely house on Anastasia Island, in St. Augustine, Florida listening to the rain pour against the side of the house.  I am looking out to see the palm trees sway in the wind.  This COULD be a bummer of a Thanksgiving- pouring down the rain at the beach.  We don't even have ONE drop of Thanksgiving food.  LOL.  We plan on going to the Cracker Barrel today to eat. 

No, it's not traditional Thanksgiving.  Last year two of my sisters came down with their children to our house.  We had a houseful.  It was GREAT!  I actually miss that this year.

We don't go home to Kentucky for Thanksgiving.  We used to go home more.  Then Karen started coming down to our house every other Thanksgiving so we decided to stay home in SC.  We always go home to Kentucky on Christmas Day so- that's a tradition we always keep.  Thanksgiving is "our" holiday.  

Now that Allison is married, and we share them with Ben's family, sometimes we have to change things up.  One year we had Thanksgiving on Friday because it was just too much for them to be eating in one day...too rushed.  I don't mind.  I know things change.

But this year, well it's been a year of a lot of changes so we decided to get away for Thanksgiving.  

I am not going to let the rain ruin the day.  It will lessen up by tomorrow.  

Today, all four of our kids and our one grandchild is in this very house with us.  As a matter of fact, all are still asleep and I am sitting in the quiet, listening to the rain, cup of coffee, and all is well.

What I am most thankful to You, O God, for- is in this house.  

I don't know what next Thanksgiving will look like.  Will there be more people with us?  I don't know.

I know that I am thankful for today- all of us here.  Together.  

That's a great Thanksgiving to me.  

A cold!

Last Thursday I woke up with a sore throat.  Then my head began to get all stuffy.  On Saturday, Johnie began to have the same thing.  We took some Dayquil and Nightquil.  It's gradually gotten worse and on Monday morning was moving into my chest.  Talk about feeling bad.  My head felt full of yuckiness and when I cough it's just so painful.  My eyes look they are going to float out of my head.  I also had a slight fever last night.  That's significant since I NEVER have a fever.  I went to bed miserable.  We are leaving for St. Augustine, Florida this morning and I was wondering how in the world am I going to get packed up?

About 1:30 in the morning I got up and took 3 ibuprofen.  I try NOT to take much medicine.  But desperate times...you know.  Then about 5:30 I couldn't quit coughing.  So I got up and made some honey, lemon and rock & rye.  Went back to bed.  And slept SO well.

I am up and about feeling SO much better!  Not 100%.  Not even 85%.  But better.  More normal.  So...I am going to get the things done that need to get done for our trip!  YAY!

Here's to hoping the sea air will help clear out my head even more!

Yes. Yes. Yes I can.

I am reading Ann Voskamp's book, The Broken Way.

Here is a quote from the book that I love because I found that, yes, yes, I can.

"Maybe you can live a full and beautiful life in spite of the great and terrible moments that will happen right inside of you.  Actually- maybe you get to become more abundant because of those moments. Maybe the deepest wounds births deeper wisdom."

Father, of ALL Grace and Mercy- thank You, for what you have allowed in my life.  Thank You for the brokeness.  Thank You for the starving emptiness.  Thank You for the wounds.  Thank You for the wretched chasing after the wind, the fury, the faux.  Thank You for the gashing of my soul against the rocks of unbelief and untruth. 

Because if I had not endured "fiery ordeals" I would not have been refined BY the fire.  You, are a Consuming Fire, consuming the brokeness.  Your fire, forged, to heal even the scars of my brokeness.  (Isaiah 48:10)

You, in your Mercy, chose to reveal to me how deprived my soul was.  How emancipated.  Without You, there is no Abundance or Nourishment.  You, the Bread and the Wine, "eat and be filled, you will never go hungry or thirsty again."  (John 6:35, John 4:13)

You, Healer, with Your own hands- spread the healing balm of Your blood on my wounds.  (Isaiah 53:3)

You, filler of Need and Purpose, who calmed the rage and intense longing in me- by conforming me to You.  Thank You, for bringing me into harmony with Yourself, who lives in me.  

Thank You, Great Grace, for no condemnation when I allowed the seasons of unbelief and believing the lies.  When my mind, my will and my emotions wanted to choose my own way- and did often, to You, THE Way.  Yet, You never condemned me.  You loved me.  You revealed Yourself to me in more Truth so my heart would see and respond.  

Jesus, I choose You.  I choose You, are More Than Enough.  In this moment.  This holy moment of all Grace.  Enough.  

Borrowing trouble....

Have you heard this saying, "Don't go borrowing trouble"?

Do you know what that means to me?  It's listening to the "what if's".

What if...that hadn't happen to me?
What if...I hadn't done that to someone?
What if...this is not the direction we should be taking financially?
What if...I had been a better mother?
What if...my child hadn't made that choice?
What if...I hadn't made that choice?
What if...what if...what if...

What is your "what if''s"?
And are you listening to them?

You see, a thought can be put in your mind- now, it's up to you as to what to do with that thought.  
Do you allow that thought to lead to another or do you ask the Holy Spirit, who lives in you, if that thought is a lie or truth?
Do you let that lie lead to more lies?  Which can lead to anger, bitterness, unforgiveness, blame, shame, being enslaved to lies, self and an unrenewed mind? 
Do you exchange the lie for truth?
Do you let that truth lead to more and more truth which is actually "being transformed (inwardly) by the renewing of your mind" (Romans 12:2).  Which leads to- wisdom, discernment, peace and living from the mind of Christ, in you.  

Believing one lying thought, no matter how convincing it is, can lead to borrowing trouble.  
But that is satan's, your enemy's, goal.  Deception.  Destruction.  Death.  
Believing lying thoughts put in your mind, always leads to deception, destruction and death.

Jesus came to renew your mind- and to even give you His mind.  So that you don't have to believe the lies anymore.  You don't have to run down the road of borrowing trouble.  You CAN stop those thoughts dead in their tracks and turn other way...the way of truth and life= Jesus.  

2 Corinthians 1:20-22
For all the promises of God are “Yes” in Christ. And so through Him, our “Amen” is spoken to the glory of God. Now it is God who establishes both us and you in Christ.  He anointed us, placed His seal on us, and put His Spirit in our hearts 

1 Corinthians 2

15 But he who is spiritual appraises all things, yet he himself is appraised by no one. 16 For who has known the mind of the Lord, that he will instruct Him? But we have the mind of Christ.

1 Peter 1:13

Therefore, prepare your minds for action, keep sober in spirit, fix your hope completely on the grace to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ.

Philippians 4:7

And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Once and For All

Once and For All

Lauren Daigle

God I give You all I can today

These scattered ashes that I hid away

I lay them all at Your feet

From the corners of my deepest shame

The empty places where I've worn Your name

Show me the love I say I believe

Oh Help me to lay it down

Oh Lord I lay it down

Oh let this be where I die

My lord with thee crucified

Be lifted high as my Kingdom's fall

Once and for all, once and for all

There is victory in my Saviors loss

And In the crimson flowing from the cross

Pour over me, pour over me yes

Oh let this be where I die

My lord with thee crucified

Be lifted high as my Kingdom's fall

Once and…

O Praise the Name

            Songs mean so much to me.  

Ephesians 5:19 speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody with your heart to the Lord;

Colossians 3:16 Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God.

O Praise the Name- Shane and Shane

[Verse 1]
I cast my mind to Calvary
Where Jesus bled and died for me
I see His wounds, His hands, His feet
My Savior on that cursed tree

[Verse 2]
His body bound and drenched in tears
They laid Him down in Joseph's tomb
The entrance sealed by heavy stone
Messiah still and all alone

[Chorus]
O praise the Name of the Lord our God
O praise His Name forevermore
For endless days we will sing Your praise
Oh Lord, oh Lord our God

[Verse 3]
Then on the third at break of dawn
The Son of heaven rose again
O trampled death, where is your sting
The angels roar for Christ the King!

[Chorus]
O praise the Name of the Lord our God
O praise His Name forevermore
For endless days we will sing Your praise
Oh Lord, oh Lord our God!

[Verse 4]

He shall return in robes of white
The blazing sun shall pierce the night
And I will rise among the saints
My gaze transfixed on Jesus' face

[Chorus]
O praise the Name of the Lord our God
O praise His Name forevermore
For endless days we will sing Your praise
Oh Lord, oh Lord our God

O praise the Name of the Lord our God
O praise His Name forevermore!
For endless days we will sing Your praise
Oh Lord, oh Lord our God

O praise the Name of the Lord our God
O praise His Name forevermore
For endless days we will sing Your praise
Oh Lord, oh Lord our God!
Oh Lord, oh Lord our God!

Today in Christ

2017 was a year of four Growing in Grace studies.  Oh how I have found beauty and such sweet time with the Lord.  I love sharing Him.  I love sharing His truths.  I love the time just Him and me- and Him anointing me afresh with Himself.  Then Him speaking and sharing Himself through me.  I love watching others when their are receiving and recognizing His revelation in them!

I have learned that God calls me to seasons.  You see, my life isn't defined by Bible Studies and how many I do.  I truly do want others to receive the revelation from Him.  But most of all He has called me to Himself.  He has called me to- focus and fix myself on Him- moment by moment.  Sometimes I can get so fixed and focused on doing and preparing more studies or teaching that I am not- 

-a friend of ours has a lake house and a pontoon boat.  Sometimes he lets us go down and use both of them.  On his lakefront property he has a dock.  You can run and jump off that dock into the lake water.  I love to run and jump in.  I love to float around in the water.  I love when my husband and kids do the same and we are all floating around, playing, laughing in the water.  

Sometimes I get so fixed and focused on doing and preparing more studies and teaching that I am not jumping into the depths of being IN Christ and simply allowing Christ as my Life.  Jumping off the dock- deep into the water, playing-laughing-floating.  

There are plenty of pastors and teachers out there- pastoring and teaching- yet not experiencing the depths of Jesus Christ.  So many of them don't even KNOW what the depths and truths of Jesus really are.  And you can't teach what you don't know so there are many many many believers out there not knowing the depths and truths of Jesus.  Some pastors and teachers need to dive off the dock and begin to experience real and true life- Jesus.  

So, I am taking a facebook break (it can be as time consuming as I allow it to be!)- and a teaching break.  Now, don't get me wrong.  It's not a complete break.  I am looking forward to helping some in our Sunday School class.  I am also looking forward to moving more into discipleship counseling. If the opportunity arises to teach occasionally I will do that.  I am going to be blogging more.  Writing is my outlet.  It's not good.  It's not proper grammer etc- but it's me.  It's my heart.  It's what God is saying to me.  It's like a fire in my bones and I cannot contain it.    

For awhile now I feel a nudging from the Lord to- I don't know- put a fresh study together.  It's a niggling in my mind but I also know something like that can be very very time consuming. Something He has to prepare me inside and out for.  Maybe this is that time of preparing.  

I don't want to think about what I will be doing next year.  Or in 5 years.  Or in 10 years.  Or 20.  I want to experience my Lord and God today.  Right now, in this holy moment.