You DON'T HAVE TO!!!!!

I'm going to be honest with you all. I do not have it all together. There are some days I let one word or one look or one circumstance to cause me to go in a "funk". My sunny mood turns blue and my emotions begin to roller coaster. I go from being angry with that person or circumstance to burying myself in condemnation (as the enemy of my soul, dumps more condemnation on me). 

"Nobody really loves me. Nobody really cares about me. Nobody really appreciates me. Nobody values me. I'm worthless. Who would love me? Who would really care about me?" 

Every time I go in a "funk"- that's where I let my mind race toward. Those are the core lies I believe about myself and others.

Then I would go, "God, why would you give this whacked out person these three great kids who I'm going to mess up? Why would you give me such a man like Nick? There are so many better moms and wives."

My core lies I believe about God are these: God is not really good and He created me worthless and of no value to Him or anyone else. 

I didn't really believe God is Who He says is and I am who He says I am. 

But today, when that one word or one look or one circumstance presents itself- and it WILL because God doesn't want me to live with a false concept of Who He is- He will, for the rest of my life, allow these things so the lie can exposed and TRUTH lived from!- it may take an hour or day or maybe a weekend but no longer the depth or the length or the width or height as before because this the truth:

God loves me. He is truly Good. He has come to heal my brokenness so that I may LIVE. I am no longer in condemnation, that's a lie from the enemy who wants to draw me away from my Jesus. (Romans 8:1) I have great worth and value, how much? Well, He gave His Son for me. I wouldn't give my son for anyone. Nobody has as much worth to me as my children. But to God, the Father, I do. 

God wants me and YOU to know how much He loves us. He wants us to REALLY know Him. He wants us to find our life and PEACE in Him. He wants us to believe Him, not be an unbelieving believer. That He is Who He says He is and He does what He says He will do and I am who I am because He has created me anew- in Him! 

And He wants you to know this:

Ephesians 3
14 For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, 15 from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name, 16 that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, 18 may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, 19 and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God.

You don't HAVE to live in that roller coaster. You don't HAVE to let a word or a look or a circumstance to send you in a spiral of shame, condemnation, fear, anger- whatever it may be. How freeing is that? 

YOU DON'T HAVE TO!