Why do I go to church? Why am I member of a church? Why do I get up each morning and spend some time reading and praying, writing my thoughts and heart to God? Why do I go to the boys detention center each week? Why do I give? Whether it by my time, my money or just, myself to- anyone? Why am I taking an 8 month course on discipleship, counseling and mentoring that costs $200 a month? Why am I saving money to pay for Nick and my mission trip to England?
Why is Jesus so much in my thoughts? Why when I think of Him- Who He is, His sacrifice and great love, my heart overwhelms within me?
Why?
Please hear me, I am not boasting. I love Jesus so much. He consumes me. He is always in my thoughts, never far from my mind. Just right there. But I see other Christians that He just doesn't seem to be the Center of their life, their thoughts, their money, their work, their home, their marriage, their children, their time, their Sunday mornings- their nothing. On the other hand, I see a lot of people who DO serve, give and even read their Bible yet their heart attitude is self-centered or even church centered, ministry centered, people centered but not Christ-centered. See, Christ flows out of the center of the person- Christ first and in all things- out of the one that lives in intimacy with Him. I will post a poem a friend wrote on what He looks like flowing out of the one in intimacy with Him.
Why do I feel such awesomeness toward Him yet other believers seem to just LIVE their life without any thought to Him, knowing Him, loving Him, serving Him?
Their life actually seems pretty, easy. They don't seem to wonder if they have have enough time or money or rest.
Why does He consume and overwhelm me when He doesn't others? I know He created us differently. Some people just don't like to read, so they don't like to read the Bible. Some people work a lot of hours through out the week and just look forward to resting Sunday mornings. Some people just don't have the extra time to- give. I get all that, I do. But God. You know?
I am not critical, I just wonder why they don't feel about Jesus like I do? He is God. The Giver of Life. The Possessor of Salvation. Eternal King. The Redeemer! The One that sets the captive free and heals the broken. My Healer.
Oh my Jesus. I don't know why You have chosen to fill me so, with Yourself. I can't even tell You WHY I love You so much, I just DO. My hearts desire is to KNOW You more intimately- to live in intimacy with the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. To live in unity, oneness and fellowship with You.
Philippians 3:7-8
7 But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ. 8 More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ
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