Sidetracked- then a new Life!

Several years ago, through all the crazy chaoticness of my inner self- and outer!- God brought me, well, to the END of my self. I had tried everything I could think of to get rid of the "crazy chaoticness" I lived in.

Before I knew Jesus, I tried to get all my "needs" met in many good and bad ways. But nothing eased me on the inside.

At 30, when I became a believer- I became a VERY GOOD BELIEVER. I did everything I was supposed to do to get close to God. Cause if I was closer to God then all this chaos in the inside would go away, right?

Well, it took 8 years- and God lead me to a couple of people that was teaching the Truth. Which caused MORE conflict!

Then finally on Friday October 3, 2008- I came to the end of trying all the bad stuff to get rid of the craziness. I came to the end of trying all the good stuff to get rid of the chaos.

I came to Jesus. I told God, "OK, if You really are real- I need to hear just You."

So I put everything away. I put up my Christian self help books, my Christian music, my Christian jewelry, my Christian- everything. I put my Bible up, because as a believer and Christ lives in me through the Holy Spirit, shouldn't He speak to me?

That is when Jesus became the most real thing in my life.

Then my dear pastor friend, in whom I confided, suggested I read Sidetracked in the Wilderness by Mike Wells. I thought, "Well, I feel like I'm in a Wilderness. Lost, Alone, Confused, Conflicted within and without."

I told my Pastor friend/brother, Will Gunter, "Don't even pray for me. I want God to be God to me. I want this to be all on Him."

This is my favorite book. I cherish this book more than all. (Except my Bible, of course). Will read it and God used it in his life. Then God used it in my life. Then it went to Germany to a friend for awhile. God used it in her life.

But this book, I read with a heart that was in desperate need of healing. All of me- wanted to live the victorious abundant life. The only thing is that I SEEN very few believers REALLY live with true joy and peace. So, really, was it real?

God began to strip away from me all the "stuff" I had learned as a very good believer and replace it with Truth.

I learned why I was the way I was. I learned that I trusted in many other things, than God. I learned that I coped with life situations and devastation's- apart from God then blamed Him when I fell apart. I learned I was defeated. I learned that I was an unbelieving believer- I believed God for my salvation, but that was about it. I learned that I had a very wrong concept of God! I learned how God made me! How He took me to the Cross with Him. And I was in Him when He rose again!

I learned what "flesh" is- and friends, you don't the word from the pulpit!

And God began healing me. He led to the victorious, abundant life- which is HIMSELF!

I learned to live FROM Him. Who He really is!

Now, my life- is a life of moment-by-moment abiding. Trusting, resting, living in Jesus.

Peace. Joy. No matter what.

We do a lot of preaching. We do a lot of teaching. But to me, it's so empty. There is no real life.

I wanted God to heal me. REAL, LASTING healing. I dealt with for so so so many years ANGER, FEAR, CONTROL. My main flesh patterns. I needed to be FREE.

Now, I KNOW this, "There is nothing the nearness of Christ cannot heal."

Now, I KNOW this, "I don't read my Bible and pray to get close to God. I read my Bible and pray because I AM CLOSE TO GOD."

Friend, how about you? Do you know Jesus? Are looking for real life and real healing and real freedom?

Look unto Jesus. Just Jesus.

 — with Abiding Life Ministries International and Betty Wells.