Without Jesus

"I'm holding the bread, taking communion this morning. I voluntarily asked myself, "Could I leave this? Could I do without this God, this faith, this life, all that has come to my soul with Jesus?" I'm asking the horribly scary question I might usually avoid, but now desperately needed to know my answer. Quickly, this came back, "Without Jesus, I can't make sense of anything. Forget heaven for a moment. Nothing today could hold my interest that long, nothing could push back the absurdity and stop the emptiness if he is not real and near. Thirty years ago, there were so many other things I could have devoted myself to and fought valiantly for. I now have a life beyond anything I ever imagined. But without Jesus, none of it would hold me. He is the only meaning giving value to every other relationship, and why I'd dare to get out of bed and face the horrible things I know may come to me.

So I take the bread and then the cup. I not only have nowhere else to go. I cannot face the rest of this day without his love, his life, his intimate knowledge of me, his risking to carry my name and give me his. I'll stay in his love....or I'd perish. Besides, he paid too much. It's not up for grabs."

- John Lynch, On My Worst Day