Today my Mom would have been 76. I miss her. I miss not knowing her. I don't look a thing like her. When I look in the mirror I see the Cleary's and the Mills, not the Lee's and Warren's.
But- I see her. I see her every day in my daughter, Allison Ellison Wofford- she has her hands and favors her. I see her in my sisters- in how some are shaped like her, in how some have hair like her, in how some have facial features like her and in how some talk like her. I see her in Karen Cleary Johnson when she is standing at the sink washing dishes, or wiping her hands off on a dishcloth- just like Mom. I see her in my niece Jessica Elliott, the teenage pictures of my Mom. I see her in Elora, I just know that's what Mom looked like a little girl!
Yesterday I sit in church by my sister Sam N Tina Vaught, with her three grandgirls and I thought how proud our Mom would be of Tina with her girls in church.
I think of all her grandchildren and great-grandchildren and how she would love them. I feel sad they never had her to love on them and hold them close. (Theresa Johnson, Marsha J Clements, Dave Beal)
I hate that she went through much sorrow in her life. But I do know that a few years before she died she did come to Jesus- she took us to church and I remember laying in her lap during the service, just like Neen's granddaughter- Maleeah ( Lindsey Elliott) did yesterday.
Mom dealt with some issues- some which I learned and carried into my adulthood. Depression, fear and anger. She learned to cope with life the best she could apart from Jesus. So did I.
But then....Jesus said to me, "I healed LaVerne complete and whole when she stepped into My arms (April 28, 1979)- she doesn't deal with depression, fear or anger anymore. I am going to heal you on this earth, Starla. Walk in Me. Live in Me. Find your life and healing and wholeness in Me."
And I have. My Mom was ON that journey of emotional and inner healing before she died- and Jesus just stepped up her process a little quicker than He did mine.
Someday, my Mom will hold me again. She's not just my Mom she is my sister in Christ- she is with Him. When I cross this chasm of physical death into the arms of Jesus- my Mom will be there with Him. Because she was cleansed by the Blood, she was forgiven, holy and righteous. She was a new creature in Christ. Her old sinful inner man was crucified with Christ and when her physical body died- her true self, true identity, who she really is (spirit and soul) stepped into Jesus's arms.
And we will be reunited. : )
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