5 years of VICTORY from Jesus, the Victor!

5 years, it's hard to believe.

At this very moment 5 years ago today I was preparing for work.  When I came home from work, Nick and the kids were going to a Dorman game, so I decided to clean the house.  I was working on a bible study in Colossians every spare moment I had so my house had gotten messy.   It was the perfect time to clean with everyone gone.

Then my friend and  momtor, (mentor+mom=momtor), Connie called and told me I had something wrong with the study I was writing.  I won't go into that- but I got VERY upset.  Not with Connie, but with God!  I was so upset with Him.  I was doing all this for Him and He allowed me to be led the wrong way!

Everything inside me just- crashed.  I can't explain it.  I still can't after 5 years of trying to explain it!

Something inside of me, clicked.  Shut off.  While on the phone with her, I put away all my "Christian" stuff.  I was SO tired of all the stuff.  You can read about it here:

http://vinejohn15branch.blogspot.com/2008/11/one-monthmoment-by-moment.html

These last 5 years have been glorious.  I can say that I do have intimacy with Christ.  I can say, He is my life.  I adore Him.  He has set this captive free.  He has healed this broken broken broken person.

Once I was defeated, now Victory lives in me.

Once I was an unbelieving believer, now- my hearts desire is His hearts desire for me- to trust Him.  To live my life, trusting Him, Who He is, His finished work- for me and in me from Him.  I knew no other way but to trust in my self and outer resources but that wasn't my hearts desire to do so. And He knew that.

Once, I lived in chaos in my inner man, now Peace lives in me.

My LORD God, Elohim- Father, Son and Holy Spirit, had to strip away all the false teaching and concepts I had learned.  So that I could KNOW, intimately, the Truth.

I had to become weak, so that He could be my Strength.  His Grace is Sufficient.

I had to sink deep deep deep into Him- immersed.  Baptized and anointed in Truth through revelation.

Mere Christianity is NOT enough for me.  Changing the behaviors of the outer man is NOT enough for me.

I wanted to know who I am at the very core of my being.  I wanted to know WHAT my very core being IS!  I wanted to know what IS the BIG DEAL about Jesus.  Truly, know.  I wanted FREEDOM.  I wanted the ABUNDANT LIFE.  I wanted JOY.  I wanted PEACE.  I wanted to experience LOVE in every part of every part of my whole self.

I wanted to know WHY I did the things I did.  I wanted to know HOW I learned to do the things I did.

If God IS REALLY REAL, then He was a big enough God to be REAL and GOD to me.  I asked Him to- prove- Himself to me.  Strip away the untruth.

And He did.  Cleansing and real.  The most real thing in my life.

There is no other life I want to live but the abiding Life.  The trusting Life. The abundant Life.  The resting Life.  The joy-filled Life.  The peace-filled Life.

Immerse yourself in these words from the great Apostle Paul- allow the Holy Spirit to anoint you and teach you Truth:

Galatians 2:20
I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.