Shepherding group

A friend of mine hosts a shepherding group in her home.  AKA, a small group for couples.   This group is from her church (in Greenville)- she and her husband are the leaders.  They meet every 1st and 3rd Wednesday.

I have asked Nick to go with me.  Our church does not do interactive small groups year round.  We do small groups in January until March but not all of them are interactive.  I really want to be a part of an interactive small group that encourages each other- like a FAMILY.  I want to be with my brothers and sisters in Christ.  To laugh, to talk, to read the Bible together, to pray together, to do communion- to BE together.

In church, you can't really do that.  In Sunday School you have one teacher and less than an hour.  You can do prayer requests but to actually interact with others- not so much.  In the worship, you sing together, the pastor preaches- and then you leave.  Still no interaction.

I think the familial interaction is what I have been missing.

Last two posts: 36 years and Push Mowing

For whatever reason the last two posts did NOT post when I wrote them.

36 years was supposed to have posted on April 28th at 12:15pm.

Push Mowing was supposed to have posted on April 24th.

36 years

36 years ago today. Almost to the exact time- a drunk driver hit our car. 

6 hours later my mother died. 

My 7 year old sister suffered terrible injuries yet lived. 

My dad and I were relatively uninjured physically except for acid burns on our face from where the battery exploded. 

I remember the accident and thereafter. That was my injury. 

But I thankful to God, my Healer. The One Who works all things to my good. I love Him. 

Push mowing

Thought I would see how much I push mow. I thought of using my GPS watch- after I had mowed some already. So this is not completely accurate. And I also did some working in my flower beds. 

17 years ago today!

I quit smoking!!!!!

Started at 13 and quit at 28!

If....

What would I look like if Jesus REALLY ruled in me?

If He did, that is, if my faith were deep, burning, powerful and passionate, my life would be very different.

My self-esteem would cease to be based upon the worldly values of possessions, prestige, status and privilege, and upon the group solidarities of family, race, class, religion and nation. For to make these my supreme values is to have nothing in common with Jesus.

With burning faith I would speak of Jesus not as some distant being but as a close friend with whom I have a personal relationship.

The invisible world would become more real than the visible, the world of what I believe more real than the world of what I see, Christ more real than myself.

Yes, my life would be radically different if Jesus Christ ruled in me, if my faith had the force of a passionate conviction.

- Brennan Manning, The Relentless Tenderness of Jesus

A thought.....

Am I one of "those" who have so much that I do not have the time to enjoy it?

Knowing God

GraceGirls Spartanburg

Just now · 

Someone somewhere along the way came up with this, "The chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever." (Westminster Shorter Catechism)

Dr. Henry Blackaby explained that glorify means to "give a correct interpretation of". I never really knew that. Thankfully that's pretty simple for me.

To glorify means to give a correct interpretation of- do I give a correct interpretation of God? To do that, I have to KNOW Him. And to go a bit further, you can't enjoy Him for one second, much less forever, if you don't KNOW Him.

This word- KNOW is, to me, a spiritual word. A word that God had to reveal to me the true, deeper meaning. In Greek there is KNOW (eido 1492, physical seeing to mental and spiritual seeing) and KNOWLEDGE (1922 epignósis, first-hand experiential knowing). These words denote more than HEAD knowledge. It's heart knowledge. Truth spoken by God, Himself, to our innermost being.

We come to KNOW Him, by getting to know Him, through time with Him. Yes, that can be through reading Scripture. Yes, that can be from teachers and preachers. Yes, that can be through song. Yes, that can be through- well for me personally- just laying outside in the dandelion and clover and watching the clouds roll by. How? That's when we talk to each other.

He speaks. I listen. I speak. He listens. Nobody really listens to us like God does, because He searches and knows our heart- even the secrets of our heart for He is greater than our heart. And...as we experience and live in union with Him- He gives us the desires from His heart, to ours. (Psalm 44:21, Luke 16:15, Acts 15:8, Romans 8:27, 1 John 3:20, Psalm 37:4). I listen as He anoints me (my whole man) with Himself, His truth.

1 John 2:20, 27
20 But you have an anointing from the Holy One
27 As for you, the anointing which you received from Him abides in you, and you have no need for anyone to teach you; but as His anointing teaches you about all things, and is true and is not a lie, and just as it has taught you, you abide in Him.

When you come to really KNOW Him through 'first-hand experience' (aka intimacy with Him) then you KNOW you can enjoy Him- ah, for He is our joy! And then, as you abide in Him and you allow Him to live in and through you- you give a correct interpretation of Who He is- glorify Him.

You can't give a correct interpretation of Him, if you don't know Him and you can't enjoy Him if you don't know Him.

Do you KNOW Him?

Loving this book!

Longest run in a year!

Today was my longest run in- a year!  That's hard to believe.

9.5 miles
1:24:45
8:55 pace

I am very happy with that.  I didn't hurt ANY where!

I met a neighbor running- Amanda, 36, has a 2 year old daughter, is in the National Guard, a sister in Christ!  How cool is that!

I am very glad that I took the last year to rest my body.  Not to push it too much.  I wouldn't mind training for a couple of half marathons but I also don't mind just being a- runner.  : )

Didn't wanna do it but....

I didn't want to go running this morning. But then again lately it's hard to make myself get out there!  Guess I'm just going through the doldrums. 

I decided to not take Sebastian with me. I just wanted to go out and run 5 miles by myself. 

It turned out to be a great run!  Yes, my sciatic hurt some but shoot it hurts worse sitting down!

61 degrees. Cloudy. Shorts. MP3. 

Communion time with Jesus. 

Days like this remind me of why I love running. 

The Relentless Tenderness of Jesus by Brennan Manning

The last year Patricia and I have lead 3 different studies in my home.

Grace Girls

Ephesians

Sidetracked in the Wilderness

After that- I was pretty drained. 

 I shared with a friend "I haven't blogged.  I haven't wrote anything.  I haven't really DONE anything.  But I am reading a book by Jessie Penn-Lewis, Life in the Spirit and I just got today and have started reading- The Relentless Tenderness of Jesus by Brennan Manning.  

I am waiting.  On what I do not know.  I am seeking while at the same time resting.  That's the best I can explain it.  Not for a fresh anointing but more revelation of Him- in Him, by Him- through Him.  I am thirsty for this.  And in the fullness of His time- He will fill me to overflowing."

Reading JPL and BM has put me in the Scriptures in a wonderful way.  Oh the beauty!  I love Paul's letters and I love the original Greek words.  I have to laugh sometimes with God.  He created me individually and unique.  When He formed me in my mother's womb I can imagine Him saying, "This girl.  This girl is MINE.  She's going to neither hate nor love going to school.  She's going to float through school with all her mind on getting married to that boy of Mine.  But ONE DAY, she will SEE ME and WANT ME.  So I am going to fill her with a love for definitions.  I will speak My love, joy, peace, acceptance, completeness- ALL OF ME- through definitions.  Hahahaha!  Oh this girl of Mine!  She will find Me in the meaning of words- LOGOS!"

I don't want to go out and do something great for Jesus.  Brennan said it best, "I prefer the pleasure of Jesus' company to the transitory pleasure of a host of other attractions.  Why?  Why am I not satisfied with what seems to satisfy so many?"

A man came and spoke at our church one time and said, "You can be so heavenly minded you are no earthly good."  I wanted to say, "Umm...I think you need to read your Bible instead of believing old cliques.  Therefore if you have been raised with Christ, keep seeking the things above where Christ is seated at the right hand of God.  Set your mind on things above not on things of the earth.  For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God.  (Colossians 3:1-2)."

I find myself seeking- wanting- more and more an eternal awareness of- well- the Trinity.  All of God.  Father, Son and Spirit.  An unseen, eternal awareness/reality of the fullness of God.  To experience/participate eternal communion in Him.  Not just to find myself in Him but to find Him, in me.  To abide in Him and Him in me.  The word abide to me means "to live in".  As in He makes me His abode, He is my abode.  I am His temporary tent on this earth.  I am His temporary home on this earth.  He is my eternal Home.  I am now "a place to lay My head".  And I have a place to curl up and rest- in His arms and lap.  

I don't want to live this life satisfied with what so many find satisfying- yet is SO temporary.  I want to experience in my inner man- the eternal.  The Eternal One. 

This world (the stuff, the busyness, the constant movement) is not my home.  Maybe that is why I don't seem to fit in it so well.  I find solace in my garden and quietness.  I find strength and joy and peace when my fingernails are filled with dirt.  Listening to the birds.  Smelling the sweetness of the spring air.  Tasting the bitter herbs fresh from the earth.  The explosion of greens, purples and yellows!  I experience intimacy with the Creator of all this- as I breathe in- LIFE.  

Maybe I am rambling this morning.  I can't seem to SAY what is going on in my inner man.  This longing.  This desire.  I really don't think this desire will ever be REALLY filled until this life of mine on this earth is over.  Because- I can't find satisfaction here but in the eternal.  

But when I do experience this fullness of the desire is beautiful.  I do experience it in quietness and solitude- and in dirt and herbs, for sure.  But I also experience it when I am with other believers who have "tasted and seen that the Lord is good".  Oh yes, that IS when I experience it the most.  That is "koinonia".  Koinonia is intimate, spiritual communion, oneness and fellowship with God- Father, Son and Holy Spirit.  It is also intimate spiritual communion, oneness and fellowship with each other, our brothers and sisters in Christ.  Eternal, spiritual fellowship.  This is whole inner man fellowship not just soulical.  

Koinonia- the pleasure of Jesus' company.  Yes, this.  This is the continual desire of my heart.  

A Patch of Dandelion and Clover

This is my patch of dandelion and clover. I didn't want Nick to mow the field because of the dandelions. But when the kids start saying the yard is overgrown its time to- mow the yard. 

But I just couldn't let go of all the dandelions. So- I saved a patch!

Joy

Joy doesn't come from Jesus giving you all the stuff you ever wanted.  That is temporary excitement and happiness.  It will fade.  Because it's not true joy.

Joy is not temporary.  Joy is eternal because it is FROM the Eternal One.  And when I say FROM I do not mean from Him to you.  It IS Him to you.  It is from His very essence to you.  Spirit to spirit.  Himself into you.